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Feeling a bit down

Been feeling a bit down the last week or so. Hopefully I can kick it out soon and get back to normal.

I had LASIK and it’s amazing to be able to see normally without glasses/etc.

I haven’t been on many dates lately. Went out with this one guy Jacob who ended up being super awk and not my type at all. Been chatting with a bunch of guys but nothing super interesting.

I am kicking Jaime to the curb. We met Tuesday night and had dinner/sex. I told him that I was getting LASIK on Thursday and how nervous I was, etc. I didn’t hear from him again until last night. He texted me that he had been in LA. I know it’s still early, but the lack of communication is just not cool for me. He knew how nervous I was for LASIK, he couldn’t even bother to ask how it went. Even Charles messaged asking how it went.

Mark is in Europe until Nov 28th so I won’t see him for a while. We will see what happens when he gets back. This past weekend I just kinda hung out with people. Dinner Friday night with Derik and Thomas, ALC ride Saturday (which was fucking amazing), Toad Hall Saturday night with people, date Sunday.

Oh! Speaking of Toad hall, a couple things. 1) Cody came with us to Toad Hall! He’s super cute but has WAY too much energy for me. I don’t think tings will happen between us. But we will see. We came home to my place and had drunken sex. But when I told him about my status he freaked out and said he was scared, etc. I sent him the same list of links that I had put together for Charles. He spent the night and I walked him back to his apartment the next morning. We held hands the whole way there. 2) Charles messaged me while we were out and about and he said “TFTI”.

It’s weird, like when he and I were going out, he didn’t seem to ever want to get drunk around me, he didn’t want to go out with me. When we would hang out, we’d drink but he’d always be very caution about how much he drank. We chatted a bit that night but nothing serious. I sent him a message sunday morning and he still hasn’t even read it.

I still am down about all that honestly. I know I said I won’t write more about him but, I still miss him. I still think about him every day. I still want to see his face popup with a random phone call just to chat. I still think about all those times and everything that happened between us. How it felt so perfect, how it felt things were finally moving forward an then in 24 hours, it all changed.

The house officially sells today, I’m a bit torn on that too. I went up there Friday and locked up for the last time.

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