I found this post from 2006
I feel like this is an exact copy of a conversation that Suresh and I could be having. If only he would open up about his feelings. He is so guarded and not wanting to talk.
He texted me on Tuesday asking if I wanted to hang out again. I would have loved too but I already had plans with Derik. So we made plans for Wed, he came over after work and we just cuddled on the couch for a while and talked. I asked him again what exactly he wants out of this, he said just friends. He doesn’t want to make out, fuck, jerk off. He doesn’t want to stay over every night. I told him that’s fine, I just wanted to be clear about where we were. I asked him about the other guy he had a crush on. He told me it didn’t work out because things were not “progressing”. I wanted to scream at him. You have a great guy you’re cuddling with RIGHT NOW who wants to progress, who cares about you so much. Who wants to see you succeed.
We watched our show, we cuddled. He pulls me in tight when we cuddle. He holds my hand the whole time. I kiss the back of his head. AT about 9:45 he fell asleep while cuddling. I woke him up and told him it was time to go. He laid there a bit more and fell asleep again. I woke him up and said “my bed or your bed, but it’s time for bed.” We laid there a bit more, he fell asleep again. I felt like he wanted ME to say “go get your toothbrush and stay”. But I wasn’t going too. I want HIM to make some decisions.
He left around 10:30 and I went to bed. We have plans again on Friday. I am not going to text him before then. I am not going to text him.
I honestly don’t even know why I am so fucking into this guy. Like he’s pretty damn boring, not into the activities that I am into, never asks me about my day or how I am doing. Never gives me anything back. We had a deal, I would make him beef short ribs. He would bring me milk bomb ice cream. The short ribs are ready… Wheres my ice cream?