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My Life

I’m going to be single forever.

Seriously, I have been feeling pretty good for the start of 2021. I met this cute guy named Vu, we’ve been hanging out, going on dates, spending weekends together. Etc etc. Two weeks ago we went to Los Angeles, had a great time (I thought). It was valentines weekend, I make him homemade ramen, we took super cute sunset pictures, etc.
The following weekend after that he only had “two” days off work. He’s a nurse working 12 hour days and he said he needed to just stay home and get some stuff done. Ok, no big deal. He said “let’s hang out next weekend”. Sounds great. I suggested that we try to go to Yosemite this weekend and that I would try to get us tickets. He said: “What if you don’t get tickets” and I said “we can find something else to do, hike, kayak, whatever we can figure it out”. He said, sounds great. I thought we had a weekend planned.
Well his last day of work was Wed. So I told him Thursday afternoon, why don’t you just come here this afternoon and hang out, I am done with work at 11am tomorrow and we can get started on our weekend. He said something like “well I’m just tired, I”m going to stay home tonight”. Friday morning comes, we texted a little bit first thing in the morning, I sent him a message at 8;30 and he didn’t reply until 6:20pm. He said: “Hi Chris. Hope you day goes well. Sorry I have a change of plan and my coworkers have a pass to Yosemite and invite me to come this weekend. So I can’t come up your way tomorrow.”.
Seriously? WTF? I’m over it.
I don’t get it, _I_ think I’m a catch. I have a house, I make decent money, I like to be adventurous, travel, I cook, I do woodworking, I landscape, I think I’m pretty cute. But yet no one fucking wants me. It seems like everyone else has bf or something. Here I am single AF. Just sitting here with astra. I can’t even seem to get friends to want to do anything with me.
In other news, things are going ok. I am going to go back to Iowa in June to do some work on the apartment building. My cruise for April was cancelled, which is REALLY annoying. I’m debating what to do with my house in LA. I’m about 75% sure I want to sell it. I would clear about $650k from it which means I could get a mortgage in the $3-4m range. Just debating what to do with that cash. Stretch myself and buy a $3.5m building, or buy a $1.5-2m building and put like 50% down and have a nice cash flow right off the bat. Honestly I ask myself what’s the bother a lot of the time. I am working my ass off to try and build this wealth but for what. I can’t seem to get anyone to like me. I have no children. What’s the point of my fucking life. I sit here with my dog and do nothing else. The older I get the less I feel my dreams will come true. I don’t want to be retired and single, old and alone.

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