My Life

Frustrations of Dating.

I’ve been on the verge of tears the past two days. All this rejection is just piling up and really annoying me. I keep going on dates, I meet these guys. I have a good first date, maybe a second date and then nothing happens after that.

Construction guy is most on my mind right now. I mean we texted for nearly a month before our first meeting. Messaging every day. We met, I thought we had a good time. We laughed, talked, we went on a nice walk. We kissed on the cheek at the end of the dat and we made plans to see each other the next time he was in SF. We kept texting every day after that. Then I told him my status and BOOM. Gone.

Then I went on that date with ZenDesk, again I had a great time. We hiked for 5 hours, we ate lunch together, we talked nearly the entire time about stuff…. I thought we had a good time. We chatted Monday. I sent him a text Tuesday morning we talked a bit he said he was going to a meeting. I sent him a message and NO REPLY since then. DO I both messaging him again?

Whole Foods, met him in PS, we texted a lot. We’re supposed to have our first real date tomorrow. Haven’t heard from him since Monday. I texted him last night. No reply yet.

Vegas, again we met while I was in Vegas, had dinner together, we’ve kept in touch texting nearly every day. Then this past Sunday, nearly radio silence from him. He says he’s been “busy”.

And then all the past guys, the same thing happens over and over again. I don’t get it. What am _I_ doing wrong? Do I expect too much from these people? Do I expect too much communication back? Are they just not interested?

Not even to mention the MANY MANY guys that I match with, chat with for a little bit and then don’t even end up meeting for one reason or another or the MANY guys that I go on one date with and we clearly don’t click at all.

This whole “I’m busy” thing is BS, IMHO. I am busy too. I have a full time job, I have side businesses, I work out, I walk my dog. Maybe I’m just better at multi-tasking than these people but who knows?

And it always seems like I’m the one putting in the effort, always the one reaching out first. Always the one trying to make plans. If I just sit here and wait for them to message me, nothing ever comes my way. Am I just that forgetful or boring?

Maybe I should have just accepted the crazy boys marriage proposal, been done with it and just made it work. I’ve been on so many dates since moving to SF, I’ve tried every angle I can think of, move slowly, move quickly, try to be friends first, step back and not communicate as much, communicate more, not text as much, try to be more funny, try to be less negative, try to be this, try to do that. I don’t know what else I can do.

It pisses me off so much too cause I keep seeing these guys getting into relationships, either my friends or people I’ve gone on dates with in the past, and it makes me jealous because they don’t even seem to appreciate what they have! So many guys after they are in relationships tell me about their grindr hookups still or whatever.

One of my friends says it’s because I “live in the middle of no where”. Well I’m sorry but where I am is NOT the middle of no where, trust me. I’ve LIVED in the middle of no where. I went nearly 2 years without a single date when living there. Just because it takes a little bit to get to where I live, shouldn’t be a deciding factor into life and love. I’m willing to make the time to commute, travel to someone in the city and I hope that I offer enough to make that worth while as well. It’s not like I’m only dating in the city either, I’ve tried Sac, Davis, Napa, etc.

I just don’t understand. What can _I_ do to make it easier/better to date me….

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