My Life


So, it’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been sort of busy but not really.

Let’s start off where we were last time. So Kevin and I are officially done. He went off to Iceland, I knew he was going, but he didn’t text me ONCE all fucking weekend he was there. I talked to him about it after he got back and he said he “forgot” to text people. WTF. He said he would “work on it”. Well he went off to London a week later and did exactly the same thing. That was that for me. I can’t deal with that.

We bought flights to Montana at the end of November. I dunno what’s gonna happen there. I assume it’s just lost money at this point. We have barely spoken since. He posted pictures in HK with some random guy.

The bald guy I mentioned in my last post, we will call him USPS, his name is Ed. We hung out twice more after that first date, dinner one day and then like just movie or whatever the next time. He texted me after that saying he wants to be “just friends”. I was a little sad because he’s a nice guy. But ever since then we have been getting closer and closer. I am getting tooo close I think. We work out every night together, then we go back to his place and I cook dinner and we eat together. We lay on the couch and cuddle and hold hands… This weekend I went to his place Saturday night and I just left this morning. I’ll go back tonight to work out but I have to go home after.

So speaking of this weekend. I go over there Saturday night and we go to the gym work out, go out to dinner then come back to his place and cuddle on the couch. He has a BAD habit of sleeping on the couch, but I convince him to go to the bedroom so we can be more comfortable. So we lay in bed and then eventually he gets up to go “pee” but never comes back. That hurt me a lot…. I laid there in bed for hours just thinking about it. But eventually convinces myself he just went to lay on the couch in his safe space.

Got up the next morning and went and we cuddled on the couch for a bit, then went to get Doughnuts and walk along the water front, back to his place where I worked for a few hours and he napped then we did gym, arcade and back to his place where he cooked dinner and then watched some TV. Cuddles again on the couch. At bed time, he got up and moved to the other couch and slept there. I didn’t even both going to the bed this time. Again, I was hurt. I love to sleep with someone. I am just getting too close to him. We need to have a serious discussion about if we’re still “just friends” or if we are more than that… I also saw his dick and OH MY GOD. Is it amazing looking. I wanted to suck it so badly.

This morning he woke up early and cooked me breakfast, eggs and fresh grated hashbrowns. Yum! I left work and he is watching Astra for his day off.

He’s such a nice guy. We have similar aspirations, we laugh and have fun with each other. I just honestly think his biggest hangup with me is HIV. Again. 🙁

I just don’t know what’s happening in my life. I want a husband so badly. Why can’t I get what I want.

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