Hmm, lots of boys to talk about here…
Let’s start with Army, he’s been very quiet lately, barely any txts. On Sunday he texted “Zaddy” and I was very busy so didn’t really message much. Last night I txted him “Why you never call daddy any more” and then a few minutes later he facetimed and we chatted for 30 minutes. This AM he txted me. Weird. I’m still very concerned that I haven’t told him about my status and I’m scared to bring it up now. I dunno what to say/do.
Last night I was in the shower and started thinking about Calvin, when I got out of the shower he had txted me. First I had heard from him since my Birthday. He just sent some random link. I replied “Creepy, I was just thinking about you”. He replied “not in a bad way I hope”. We didn’t really say anything after that. I want to say something to him about how I miss us, but I need to move the fuck on.
Had a second date with Illegal on Sunday. He came over to my house and we cooked dinner, watched two movies and made out in bed. He’s a nice guy but I haven’t made any effort to reach out to him since Sunday and neither has he, so I assume that means he’s not interested and neither am I really… So that’s that.
I’m still frustrated over the whole Thumper thing. I just don’t get it. I was SO EXCITED to be back in contact with him. WTF.
As I said before I’ve been hitting the gym daily. Some days I look at myself and I feel like I see improvement, slightly bigger arms, chest, etc. Other days I look in the mirror and just see a fat ugly bitch. When I last posted, I was under 200lbs. Now I’m back above 200lbs, I’m hoping it’s all muscle?! I have a hot asian gym husband that I stare at when I work out. Woof. I cannot tell if he’s gay though. His routine is to do this dance class and then he does weights. In dance class he shakes his booty all over and it’s so hot. I just stare at him while doing the elliptical.