Hmm, so thursday night was pretty good. I went out with Robert for his birthday, we went to H Marys and hung out. I drank a lot and got pretty drunk. The waiter was flirting with me. And he wasn’t very cute.
Today Austin and I got in a huge fight. I again told him that I can’t handle being friends with him if he’s going to keep draging me through all this shit… His response.
“Alright then we’re done… goodbye”.
God damnit. Why does everyone just flow through my life like butter on a hot skillet. I’m sorry that I fell in love with him, and he can’t handle that. I’m sorry that you’re such a jerk and you can’t see that you hurt the hell out of me when you talk about having sex with some random guy who you’re going on a second fucking date with.
God damnit. I left work early because I was just sitting there crying anyways.
I called up this guy and asked him to go see a matinee with me.
So we went and saw TransAmerica. It was really good, but I spent most of the movie crying and being annoyed by the guy. He kept fucking talking through the whole thing and he was SO LOUD. Ugh, I wanted to punch him. Plus his voice was just annoying as hell. Gah.
Came home and sat around a bit. Getting ready for the other two dates…
They both sucked.
Called Austin to try and work things out.. He didn’t give a shit so now we’re through for good.
I just wanna fucking die now. I hate my fucking life.
Why do I fuck everything up.
The one person who I’ve REALLY connected with since I moved here and now he’s gone… Gone.
Chris it honestly doesn’t sound like he ever treated you right. You deserve to be treated well. You are a great person so don’t let some jerk make you doubt yourself!
Thanks Amanda!
I know he didn’t, but I just feel so alone out here and when I found someone I clicked with like he and I did, I just kinda settled for him, and well. It’s just devestating for me to deal with rejection like that from him. Like I just posted in my most recent entry it makes me doubt all his motives from day one with all the shit that we did together.
It makes me wonder what the hell was going on during all this time then. :'(