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WTF Austin…

No, I’m not OK, and I’ll tell you why…

You are the one who’s been telling me all along, “This guy is creepy”, ” I wouldn’t hang out with him”, etc, etc etc… And yet, now that I’ve caught him in a major lie you go and still hang out with him and you’re acting all like nothing’s wrong and he’s this great person now.

I’ve feel like I’ve been deceived for the last 6 months about who he really is, and what’s really going on. Who knows if he even REALLY lives in bakersfield any more?! Can you imagine how pissed off you would be if you felt like someone had been deceiving you for so long, that someone who you spent a lot of time trying to help out and be friends with and put a lot of emotional time into this has been deceiving you for so long? You probably have no idea at all how pissed I am.

And now to add insult to injury, I feel like I’ve been punched yet again by you hanging out with him… Oh, and not to mention the part where he claims you said you loved him (I assume that’s what he’s talking about because he said, “Austin said something that took you three months to say”… which would be that.)… Who knows if that’s true or not any more, but if it is, then yet another punch because again… you were the one who was constantly saying. “This guy is creepy”, “Stay away”….

So WTF? goodnight.

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chris

im really sorry i logged off on u. i already feel bad about it. i don’t want you to hate me for this whole situation.

i don’t know blake at all as well as you do.. so its not like i’m a good judge of character. i can go off of what you’ve told me.. but you are the one who has experienced the friendship with blake.

if this lieing thing is an issue then maybe you should talk to him on the phone and figure it out. I have no idea what to say. And i don’t think i’m a two faced person.. i was judging blake after hearing he was getting in fights all the time and blah blah blah.. and i told him not to get into fights anymore because i thought it was stupid.. and was like ok and so he stopped getting into fights.

maybe he paints these stories in order to create an image of him that he wants others to believe. His lies don’t affect me. He wanted to come down here.. it was nice talkign about high school memories and living in bakersfield and talkign shit about the same people we know.

so i’m sorry i’m too tired to strand logical thoughts together. i don’t want you to stop being my friend 🙁

bye

austin

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Austin,

Honestly I don’t want to hate you either… I really like you a lot, just as a friend, since that’s all you want, but I do like you, and you’ve been a great friend so far… I’m sorry that I’m being so emotional, about this whole thing, it’s just that I’ve been through so much for blake, like i said, i was worried to death about him all through christmas vacationwhile i was back home, i nearly broke down in tears on christmas day because i was so worried about him. And then to find out that all of this shit could possibly be lies. To find out that he’s possibly made up two completely fictitious people. It just pisses me off so much and hurts me so much… I tried to get him to talk about this whole thing and to find out what’s going on, he refuses to call me, always has some lame excuse, refuses to let me call him, refuses to get jake to call me. It’s all just too much right now, on top of other things that I’ll get to in a minute.

When we first started hanging out and you were backing me on this I felt that maybe I was justified in being suspicious about these things, that maybe it was time to start really digging into it. Then when I caught this thing, I was hoping that you’d back me, but I just felt deserted when you continued on with your plans to have him down… And I’m sorry, i’ve just been sitting here stewing in my own anger now all night and I was just taking it out on you rather then trying to get information out of blake. I still want to trust him, but until i get some sort of hard proof that he’s not lying, I have to just assume that everything he says is a lie. I have nothing to judge him on like you do of stories about bakersfield, if he says a falsity of bakersfield, i wouldn’t be able to catch him on that, whereas you would. Thus this really gives him even more room to lie tome about things.

To reference your point of you told him to stop getting into fights, he really hasn’t though. He continues to tell me about fights that he gets into nearly every other day. He claimed he got a black eye just this past friday or saturday. So again, I’m not sure if he’s lying there or just not telling you about these fights he’s been getting into.

You said that I was trying to control who you can and can’t be friends with, I’m not trying to do that at all. I don’t like people to tell me what to do, and I don’t want to tell other people what to do, you should be free to live your life how you please. Andrew and I went through a lot of control issues when we were doing the LDR thing, and I know how controlling some people can be, I don’t want to be anything like what I went through with him during some of those times… And definitely not to my friends! You can be friends with him as much as you like. I’m going to try and talk to him about this and maybe work something out. I’ve put too much into it already to just throw it away, so I will see what can be done to rescue it, perhaps I will meet him next week and we will have a long chat.

I’d also like to reference you’re thinking this has anything to do with you not wanting to kiss me.. Because it doesn’t. if you don’t want too, then that’s your own whatever, I have no problems with it. Sure I’d like to be able to kiss you, but I’m not going to hold it against you for not wanting to. You’ve stated that you only want to be friends with me and that’s fine. Although, i’d like to know if you’re being completely honest about your reasoning for not wanting too?

My last issue is that it’s really hurting me that you’re getting so upset with me about not having a job, and when I try to help you get mad at me.. I’d like to help you out as much as I can, it’s my nature to help people that I like, I go way out of my way for a lot of my friends, and do things that most friends never would. So I hope that you will take my help and not get mad at me for trying to help. I only want the best for you and all my friends. I know that it’s probably very frustrating for you, I was freaking out in January about not having a job lined up for August, so I do know how you feel.. I just wish that you would not take it out on me, and that you would let me help you out.

To close, I’d like to re-iterate that I don’t want to loose you as a friend.. Out of ALL the people that I’ve met since moving here to the OC, you and I have clicked the best by FAR, I don’t want to loose that friendship, and I’d like to continue building on that to become better friends. I hope that we can hang out again soon, I do miss it. And I’ve been craving to watch some Sex and the city with you!

Take care, and with love…

Cj B

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