Gah, I’m in a really really pissed off mood today, Depressed, mad about everything, lazy off my ass.
Yesterday was so-so. I got pretty annoyed then as well. Went over to Austin’s about 1ish and we went to the beach and sat there for an hour or so. Then went back to his house and did some computer work that we’ve both been wanting to do. After that we went to his room and watched TV.
It came up to about 5ish and I really wanted to go to the beach and watch the sunset, but he started watching another show. So I started getting annoyed then. After that he said he wanted some time alone, so I left and we made plans for him to call in an hour and we’d go to Hamburger Mary’s. An hour later, I started talking to him online and he indicated that he just wanted to stay home and watch movies instead. So I drank and got drunk and started blabbing at him and shit, and got more annoyed.
Went to bed pretty depressed and pissed.
Got up this morning and just wanted to go camping alone and get the hell out of here. So I went out and bought a cart thing for my patrol box since it’s way too heavy for me to move myself, got the cooler and some ice. Came home and started packing the cooler and then decided it was just a waste and got too depressed and lazy to finish. It’s still sitting in the kitchen 6 hours after the fact.
So I’ve been sitting on my couch in my underwear all day being annoyed at everyone for everything, etc. I’m in tons of pain and just want it all to be over with. (My birthday that is and the pain).
Yesterday I should have just fucking told Austin that I was going camping with or without him. I wanted to get the fuck out of here this weekend and away from all the shit. I’m jus tnot in the mood to be dealing with it all.
Looks like I’ll be spending the whole weekend sitting on my damn couch alone.
I want to get up and do something, but I just can’t get myself to actually do it.