I guess I messed up this weekend and have now hurt Blake. I honestly feel really bad about this. I guess I just didn’t realize the boundries of our relationship.
We’re not dating yet, so I was under the impression that we were just friends who really cared and loved each other. But I guess our relationship has boundries that I crossed.
I did kiss Brian this weekend, and Blake asked about it. So I couldn’t lie to him. I told him what happened. And I guess he’s upset about that. I realize that I did something wrong, and I feel bad about that. I wish I had known that this would have hurt him and that this was crossing the boundries of our relationship.
Looking back on it I probably should have known, because I do get jealous when he tells me about people flirting with him. And I am jealous that some guy bought him lots of things this past weekend when he was up in Fresno.
I really wish that I could do a LDR again. But after the stresses of doing it with Andrew, where we talked for a least an hour every day. I really don’t think I could handle an LDR with Blake, I mean there are days sometimes where we don’t get to talk. I would just go crazy! I just wished he lived closer so we could at least see each other every other weekend on min.
I don’t want to fuck things up with him before we even get to do anything. 🙁