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Out Cold

Well, I’m sure you’re all wondering where I’ve been for the last couple days, eh?

Well, honestly I’ve been a bit depressed and also very sick…

Late Wed I came down with a fever, and my body couldn’t decide if it was hot or cold, I went through about 20 minute periods of hot/cold/hot/cold. It was annoying as hell. I also had a splitting headache and my back was killing me. I stayed home and worked from home on Thursday, taking only 2 hours of sick leave. Which I shouldn’t have done at all because I did put in a full 8 hours, but whatever. Thursday during the day my body finially decided on a temp, and stayed there and then gradually went back down to normal. By the time I was supposed to be going to work Thursday night (Friday) my back was still killing me and it hurt to move at all. Plus I still had a horrible headache. So yeah, stayed home again that night. However I didn’t take any sick leave that day because I ended up putting in about 4 hours friday night working on things for Oscar.

On top of all that, I was really pissed/depressed about shit with Andrew. He wrote on his journal that I had been writing “Bull” about him… Which for anyone who doesn’t read my journal, I have done nothing of the sorts. This really pissed me off, and he also claimed that by not running to read my journal it made him somehow a better man. Whatever, by writing that I was writing bull, made him less of a man because he didn’t even take the time to come to my journal to read it to see that I wasn’t writing bull. Anyways, the point of the matter is that the more and more I think about this whole thing I more and more pissed/depressed I get…. And yes, it is both.

I’m fucking pissed at him for moving me out here, and putting me through all this shit and then just up and moving back to Iowa. I’m depressed because this was supposed to be the happiest year of my life, and coming here was supposed to have been such a great thing, and yet it’s been the worst fucking time. The worst fucking year.

I was really hoping that when he came back in the fall from the trip abroad, we could get together again, work things out and by then I wouldn’t be so pissed at him, and we could at least be friends again…. But now he’s fucking up and leaving for Iowa and I’ll probably never see him again.

This state has done nothing but ruin me. Mentally and physically.

Speaking of that, I’ve now officially gained 25 pounds since moving here… Tomorrow I’m going to Costco, buying two big things of protien bars and one of those HUGE ass things of shake mix. That will be my diet until I get back down to my goal wieght. And if JonJon wants to eat at my house, he can buy and bring his own food from now on, because I’m not getting fat here.

Anyways, someone cleaned my desk while I was out sick, it’s very annoying. I like my desk messy. It makes it look like I’m working. Speaking of working, looks like the new guy might have started working as well, blah.

This weekend was a total waste as well. Friday, went to Ikea, sat at home finishing my bookshelf (Which does look hot, I should post pics)

Saturday during the day, Sat at home…

Saturday night, went to the Klatch. I wanted to walk around Laguna Beach.. JonJon said:”There’s nothing to do” He doesn’t quite understand that there doesn’t have to be anything OPEN to have a good time walking around a pretty place. So I got pissed and we went home. and went to bed… Total time out: 1.5 hours

Sunday day: Sat at home watching this countdown of American Presidents… Who knew about some of those random ass ones.

Sunday Afternoon: Went to Ikea to return something, then southcoast for a little bit. Then home to sit around and do nothing.

What happened to all these friends we had around here… Hanging out with Nikki and Nichole every day, and all those parties at Lauren’s and shit?

Blah. I want to go back a year and tell myself to fucking stay in Iowa. Date Jed or Justin or someone.

Or maybe go back two years and just fucking tell Andrew to go to ISU to fucking start with… Maybe I could still be working at Krell and getting my Masters now.

Grrr..

Night all.

3 replies on “Out Cold”

Honey are you kidding. Remember how you spent all that time bitching about how much you hated Iowa. If you’d stayed here you would still be bitching about Iowa and wondering what CA was like. At least you know-now you can come back and bitch about CA.

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