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Courtny’s Words

So I’ve been meaning to post something about this ever since Andrew told me a couple days ago, but I just really never had a chance. So I’m going to do that now.

So I guess that court told Andrew that I was always in a bad mood or something along those lines. Anyways, I don’t really remember what exactly she said, and I’m not really all that concerned about WHAT she said, it’s the fact that she said it. I mean, she hardly knows me, she hardly talks to me, and every time that we do hang out I think that I always make the best attempt to be extremely nice to her and all of Andrew’s other friends. I really like most of them and want them to like me. Not that it really matters now, because I probably won’t ever see them all again. But still, it hurts me that she feels that way and that she would say those things to my boyfriend.

Other then that, I did also want to write a short entry about how I’m feeling here now…

Other then just being very scared and wanting Andrew here, I’m doing good overall. There are times when I could really just use a hug or a kiss from Andrew. And lately he seems to not really “be into it” when we say “i love you” on the phone. I’m sure it’s probably just me making something stupid up, but right now I just really need lots of support from him. I can’t wait until August when he gets back here. I really wish that he would/could come sooner as I could really use him and his love right now.

I am really glad though that we got the three weeks we did get. I do really wish though that the last few days we had together could have been much better. I wish we could have had that one last time before I left to make love, or go out to Java’s or hang out with Dustin and anyone else one last time. I wish that we could have had that last chance to go to Hu-Hot or sit by saylorville and watch the sunset. I wish we could have had a chance to go swimming in my pool, or to go canoeing on Big Creek… There was just so much that I wanted to do this summer, and now I won’t get to do any of it.

I’m happy that I got a job, but just so sad that I had to leave him there again. I’m just so sad that we had to say good bye so soon again. It wasn’t supposed to be like this at all.


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