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My Life

What do people want?

Today’s been one of those annoying days where you’re grumpy for no reason that you know of / can control and everyone around you is just trying to be nice, but it just actually pisses you off then. I mean I dunno, what do people really want with me, is there anything that can really be done?

I just don’t know. I have fun when I’m around them, I really do, I enjoy every minute of it and I can’t imagine being apart but I’m grumpy sometimes and that’s life. It can’t be fixed all the time. It just really can’t.

I also hate when there’s something that you hadn’t planned for, that you knew about, and just forgot about when you’re making those little plans in your head for that day, I know you all do it. I do it constanly, I make little plans for things that I’d like to do in a day. Today I had made the plans to just hang out with Adam, as far as I knew there wasn’t anything going on, so in my head I had made those plans, taking into account that on normal Saturday nights we stay home and watch his sister. By 5 when I saw him, I was really looking forward to a night of just us two, to sit around in our underwear in front of his TV and just talk and hang out. I really wanted to, we haven’t had any time lately to just sit aorund and do that, like we used to. We’ve just been so busy. We were going to last Saturday, but people stopped by and stayed tell 2am, but that was still fun times. We haven’t had time like that for a couple months now. Tonight I had really wanted to. But I got to Hy-Vee at 4, and while talking to Nelline, she reminded me that Leah was having a party tonight. I wanted to go, just to hang out, but that ruined my plans for the night, the night that I’ve been waiting for. I was already in a grumpy mood for no reason (well I have my suspisions as to why, but that’s none of your business), and this just added to my grumpyness. I expressed to Adam that I really didn’t want to spend the amount of time there that he wanted to. So I said fuck it, and was going to drive myself and he was going to drive himself so that I could leave whenever I wanted to. But he said no, and we drove together. Fine.

So we get there and it’s just Leah and Andi at that point. Nelline showed up about 9ish. I had a much better time then I thought I would, but I still would have liked my plans to work out, oh well. They all played some screwy dance dance game, I don’t have the cordination to play it myself, so I only did it once. It was all amusing, I played pool as well and did good I think. Until people started cheating. heh.

At 11 we had to go pick Abbie up from the movies, so we left, picked her up and went back to Adam’s. In my mind my plans were coming back, we could still work out the evening of just sitting on the couch watching TV and the like. But alas, we were both very tired and Adam wanted to go to bed, so now I’m here.

Bitching to an endless crowd of people that don’t care….

I love him with all my heart, I do, but sometimes, I’m just grumpy.

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