April 8, 2001

april 8, #3. so i’ve been thinking about pretty much nothing again latley,

you know i just get into thos gorves and just think about stuff. i dunno.

it’s like sometimes i just don’t care and i just kinda follow what’s put infront

of me, and i don’t look down the road, but then every once in a while i just

hit something and it’s like, omg what was i thinking when i did that, or omg

what if. you know. and i just think about that one thing and just keep thinking

about it, and it’s like it won’t go away but then eventually it does, so yeah.

right now it’s like, my summer, what am i going to do, i know what i’m going

to be doing, but it’s like what _am_ i going to do. i know what i mean, but

i don’t know how to deal with it. it’s, it’s just i’m going to be camping

for 10 weeks str8 this summer. 10 weeks, i mean i’ve been away for 10 weeks

str8 before, but now i have someone that i love in my life, and i don’t want

to leave him for 10 weeks, and not be able to talk to him, or even talk about

him at all. i mean i’ll be able to call danny like once a week, maybe twice,

but i mean. it’s still. i just don’t know. i love scouting, and i like what

they do, but i obviously don’t like how they practice somethings. and i mean,

i know i could go to Campfire Kids, or YMCA camp or something, but i’ve been

raised on scouting and it’s just not something that i want to give up right

now. as i sit here writing this i’m wearing a Philmont Sweatshirt, a Mitigwa

Lodge T-shirt and a Carabeaner (sp?) that has "be prepared" on it.

it’s ARG. I’ve been thinking.

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