Getting ready to leave Nassau

Going to be leaving Nassau for the last time tomorrow…. It’s a little sad but I’m also really looking forward to it. My trip is starting to come to a close, doing these last things, contacting marinas back in the USA. Figuring out were I’m going to live.

It’s all still so confusing and happy/sad at the same time. I’m so stressed about what to do once I’m back in the states. I’ll be kinda living at my parents house for a while, which seems weird at 43. I almost want to just get a short term AirBNB while I’m there just so I don’t have to live with them. But then I also want to live there to not spend money.

I need to plan a trip back to CA for medical stuff. Where will I stay there too?

Speaking of Medical stuff, I think I mentioned before that I had food poisoning a month or so ago.. I’ve also had terrible diarrhea for years now. And it just seems to be getting worse while here. It was manageable before, once a day. Now it’s multiple times per day and it’s really pissing me off. I tried to hookup with this guy the other day. I douched for hours, finally came out clean. Then by the time he got here, he stuck it in a few inches, pulled out and it was dirty again! WTF. My doctor for the past year has basically just been saying to take 2-4 Immodium AD’s per day. And that’s just dumb/annoying. Plus I take two per day right now and NOTHING IS BETTER. I just want it to go away so that I can have sex and not have to spend HOURS prepping.

I watch these youtube’s still…

And ya know THIS is the life I wanted in this experience. Going around cute villages, having a partner to do it with, etc etc. I am just so torn between trying to do it again next season or just give up. I keep thinking to myself, MAYBE if I get to the Med it’ll be better… But then I dunno. Will it?!

I’m also so worried about Trump and what’s going on in America. Like how will this impact my apartments and my income!

I just wish that I could figure shit out what I wanna do. Where I wanna go. Hut and Sean are in Thailand and it’s seeming like such a good idea to just move there. lol

Making my last trek back to Nassau

The past week Frank and his BF have been here and it’s been nice having them. I’ve def put on weight with all the food frank has been cooking.

We’re on the trek back to Nassau for the last time to drop them off at the airport on Saturday. It’s been a fun trip but I’m always worried that people are bored sometimes with being out here. I know the BF says he’s more of a city guy and he’s looking forward to getting back to nassau for a day to explore the city there.

They remind me a lot of me and Charles. The first day they got here we were out on a hike and I just asked frank to take a nude pic of me… Apparently the bf got SUPER pissed off about that and he ended up spending the rest of the day locked in hi cabin. Refusing to talk to Frank.

They are lovey’ dovey’. But then also Frank does everything for the BF. Cooks, dishes, etc. Just like me and Charles. Frank also apparently paid for this whole trip, just like me and Charles.

Last night, the BF asked me if I was on some horoscope app. Frank then got all pissy cause the BF asked me if I was on it, but not asked him? He texted me later explaining that it’s a long story.

I’m still on the fence about what to do with this boat… Now that I see the end in sight, I’m getting excited for what’s next, Eastern Caribbean, Greece, etc. But then I also have these days where I’m just like. Fuck this I wanna sell the damn boat.

So I still don’t know what to do about the whole situation.

Plus with all my friends talking about moving over seas and the continued disaster that Is trump…. Ugh just so much uncertantity.

I still long for those days of the 90’s and early 2000’s when we had so much to look forward too. We had our problems as a country but the government worked together. I watched this thing last night about Regean/Bush debate and fuck, I would have voted for them back in the day!

We also watched about 15 minutes of Fox News last night, what a bunch of HATE and crazy. These people are so bonkers and I cannot believe this is where 50% of America gets its news.

Friends are all leaving the USA

A lot of my friends are actively looking to leave the USA. What’s going on here is so scary and I can’t even keep up every day with all the insane shit that’s going on. From the CDC removing all references to HIV medications, HHS removing “T” from LGBT, FBI moving all their “values”, Musk gaining access to the $6 trillion payment systems, the list goes on and on and I’m sure there’s a ton of stuff that’s happening we don’t even know about!

I wish that I could leave the USA as well, well technically I have, but in a more permanent method. But again it’s one of those things that, DO I WANT TO DO THAT ALONE? I have 3 couple friends all seriously taking actions to move out of the country.

What are we to do? It’s scary that this is the path we’re walking down as a country. That people are out there SUPPORTING this shit. That GAY people support this shit?!

Just feeling so helpless about what’s going on right now in the country. And pissed that the democratic leadership isn’t doing ANYTHING about it. Almost every day there’s some news story “Trump did X, which is illegal”. But because of the Supreme Court ruling, apparently nothing the president does is actually ILLEGAL… Fuck this time line we’re in.

Leaving my Sailing Friends…

Well today was the day that I separated from my sailing friends. We’ve been sailing together for over a month now and it’s been nice having another boat to travel along with.

We’ve done a lot of stuff and probably they have got me out to do more stuff then I would have done on my own for sure. I had a lot of fun, annoyance, more fun, and some great friendship building with them. I’ll miss having them around.

But I’ve also made the decision that I’m ready to go back to the USA. I am going to stay until March 9th when my last guests leave Georgetown and then make my way back home.

I don’t know yet what I’m going to do. I have so many options and I want to make the RIGHT decision. I don’t want to have regrets any more.

After doing this whole last 4 years. I wish I had kept my house in Vallejo, TBH. So that I’d have a home to go back too.

Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me! 43 this year, I spent yesterday getting an IV infusion of Antibitoics cause I’ve been pooping like every hour. That night the other boat came over and made pizza and then they had tres Leche cake! Yum!

I wrote a post back in 2003 on my birthday with some old photos. Take a look at it cause we’re going to reminisce a bit.

All those photos were taken at my grandparents house in Lenox, those were some of the bet memories I have of childhood. The weeks of time I would get to spend down there with them and my cousin. Every trip would start and end the same. My parents would drive half way to Osceola, there was a Pizza Hut right off the freeway and we’d meet my grandparents there and have pizza. I always loved those family pizza nights at Pizza Hut in the 90’s. Deep Dish meat lovers, bread sticks, unlimited soda. I remember one time my dad and grandpa were actually pulling the waitresses arms in different directions trying to get her to give them the bill. And when ever I had a book-it award, I got my own pizza. Sometimes if it was a really special occasion we’d stop at the prime rib restaurant.

From there, we’d ride with the grandparents down to Lenox, the smell of their car was always unique. Usually grandpa would insist on driving his pickup truck, so it’d be me in the middle with my grandparents on each side. Grandpa would always have the CB radio on, so I’d try and talk to the truckers as we drove past. The cigarette tray was always full of candy. Driving down the rural roads of iowa with the windows down in summer, the smells of corn and soybeans growing, the small towns wizzing by.

We’d get to their house and the first thing would always be fresh baked cookies. Grandma would have the cookie jar loaded up to the brim with ranger cookies and I’d grab a couple of them! I’d always be so excited to see Rebecca and hang out with her.

During the summer (the first picture), we’d spend all day and night together. Sometimes my school would let out earlier then hers, so I’d have to spend the days waiting for her then grandpa and I would go pick her up at school. We’d go bike riding, roller blading. Grandma would come home from work noon-1pm and make us lunch. Then at 1pm we’d rush off to the community pool and spend the whole afternoon there. Grandpa would always give us $1 each. It was $0.25 to get into the pool… Then we’d save the other $0.75 for treats at the pharmacy, the pharmacy in town still had an old fashion soda bar with drinks and ice cream. Depending on what we wanted that day, we’d either get a Zombie drink, or sometimes we’d split the cost of a huge sunday which was only $1.50!

Grandpa always told us not to get sundays’ up there, but we’d sneak them in sometimes. Somehow he always found out!

We’d go see Granny at the nursing home, visit GG at her house. Ride our bikes out to the local lakes and ponds. Grandpa would put us in the back of his pickup and we’d drive around looking for soda cans.. He’d spot one and pull over then one of us would hop out and grab it. IT was always really exciting when he’d miss one that we would see. We’d yell at him to STOP so we could go grab it.

Grandpa had an office in the basement and grandma did crafts down there too, she had a store called “the country goose”. So we’d spend time “working” and we’d have our own little craft days and try to sell them in her craft store.

We’d always be home by dinner time, in Lenox there’s a loud whistle that blows every day, 8am, noon, 1pm, 5pm. We knew to be home by the 5pm whistle. Grandma would have dinner cooking, always something delicious like fried pork chops and gravy or hamburgers with fresh tomatoes from the garden.

Once a week, grandpa would bring back Casey’ doughnuts for us and on Wednesdays (AND SATURDAY if I was still there!) the local restaurant had biscuits and gravy. It was always a huge treat for us when grandpa would take us up there for that.

Sometimes this rolling pizza shop (it was in the back of a semi) would come into town and grandpa would send us up there to get a pizza for dinner.

I miss those simpler days, the days of no cares or worries, not having to think about eating too many cookies. Just enjoying life as a kid, running around town. I miss the sound of my grandpa’s voice asking us to go get him another beer. The smell of their house.

Life has gone by too quickly and I want to have those same sorts of memories today, with what I’m doing now. But I just feel like even though these are amazing adventures and great stories, nothing is going to live up to the same memories as those times at my grandpa and grandma’s house. Spending those few weeks every summer with them.

Maybe I just need to figure out how to enjoy those more simple things again.