So I’m back in Deltaville working on the boat and getting it ready to go. I had posted as FSBO and had two people who were going to come look at it. Both of them cancelled. I was so fucking frustrated. I just don’t get why MY BOAT won’t fucking sell. I just want it gone. This is probably one of the worst decisions of my fucking life buying this boat.
I cried the night I got the text from the potential buyers. I wanted to call Charles and cry to him. I just need someone in my life who’s supportive and caring. I texted my parents. My dad replied “That’s not good” and not a single fucking reply from my mother. WTF. What kind of fucking parents are like this?
A few of my friends have had birthdays the past few weeks. I always see all these other people posting happy birthday things on instagram. I HAVE NEVER had a friend who posts a story/post/etc about MY birthday. Half my friends don’t even fucking remember my birthday.. must less post about it.
No one fucking cares about me. How come I can’t be like Charles where people are chasing after me to date. How come I can’t be like Dominic where people are posting about my birthday. How come no one ever picks up the phone and calls me just to talk or check in. How come I have to BEG people to come visit me on the fucking boat.
I just want to be loved. I just want to live with my BF, I want to cook dinners for us, I want to go to the gym and go on vacations. I want to plan things together. Host dinner parties with friends. Go to pumpkin patches and carve pumpkins. Put up a Christmas tree.
I just want to go back to our apartment in Walnut Creek… I just want to see him walk through the door and lay his head down on my lap. I want him to fall asleep again while we watch TV, so I can just cuddle him and hold him.
I fucking hate this life. I hate where I am right now. I hate what I’m doing.
Someone fucking buy my god damn boat. Someone fucking date me. Someone love and care about me.