Not Published

Another Wed Night With Andrew!

So… I bet your wondering what Chris was REALLY doing. Cause everyone knows that he doesn’t actually go to 8 hour group meetings.

Well here’s what happened….I did get up early and go to class, and then a test.

But instead of a group meeting at 1. Andrew got here at that time. We hung out here, and I made lunch. Watched a movie, I forget what it was called now. To many other things going through my mind right now. And actually my dick is doing most of the thinking. Lol.

After that movie we went to the Mall and shopped there, then off to find something else to do. Drove around a lot, stopped on campus to see if I could find a paper to get a good deal on food. But failed at that. So we went to a chinese place by North Grand. Ate there and spent like an hour or something. It was amusing, we told stories about high school Engligh and other things. I’m sure no one cares about that stuff though, so onto the BEST part of the night…

We went back to my house after the food, both of us feeling blargy. We laid down on the couch, cuddling. Put in another movie and started watching that, but through out the first 20 or 30 minutes we just randomly started kissing, it was so heavenly. We did that for a while, watching movie, kissing, watching movie.

Andrew got up and went to the bathroom, and when he got back, he got on top of me, and we continuted kissing and making out. Ahhhhhh, so nice. I wish that I had the �gift� that Andrew has for writing, because I just can’t explain it. Hopefully he’ll write something good and I’ll tack that onto this to give more detail! Lol.

It was heaven, and so nice to be able to actually make out with someone that I care for. When I was with Adam I usually had to tell him to stop after like 5 minutes of attempted making out because A) I got bored, B) I didn’t really care that much for him, C) His breath was HORRIBLE!

The couch got too small after like 30-45 minutes, so we came into my bed room and continuted making out, this time with me on top. It was so so so so nice. I didn’t want him to leave at all. I wanted him to stay all night so we could keep kissing and hugging and cuddling, and talking. He’s got such a cute face, such a great body… But most importantly, he’s so smart, has such a great personality, and we have so much in common.

For example, he wanted to bring up �Titanic� to watch, but figured that I didn’t like it because most people DON’T like it. However, it’s a movie that I LOVE! Just another random little thing that we have in common.

Eventually it got to be about 9 and he had to go, but we just kept kissing. We slowly made our way to the door, and I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay so much longer. But he had to go.

It was sad to see him go, and we kissed goodnight.

Throughout the night Adam called BOTH of us, at least 4 times each, and left us both messages. God he’s REALLY getting on my nerves. We didn’t answer of course.

Here’s what he said once I got online….

(20:30:24) AcerSai: HELLO?!?!?!/

(20:30:24) BlackC 2004 : sorry, i ran out for a while. bbl

(20:40:57) AcerSai: Hello?!? Are you threre?!?!/

(20:40:57) BlackC 2004 : sorry, i ran out for a while. bbl

(20:41:47) AcerSai: Why are you not respinding?!? Please say soemthing

(20:41:47) BlackC 2004 : sorry, i ran out for a while. bbl

(20:50:04) AcerSai: Chris if you’re there please IM me back, I’m about to explode

(20:50:04) BlackC 2004 : sorry, i ran out for a while. bbl

(21:27:43) BlackC 2004: You’re about to explode, I just spent 8 fucking hours in a group meeting… GRRR!

(21:28:28) AcerSai: What kind of meeting?

(21:28:36) BlackC 2004: A group meeting for my MIS class.

(21:28:44) AcerSai: I see

(21:28:59) BlackC 2004: Grrr, I was not happy. We would have still been there had the last bus for Blue South not gone by at 9:00.

(21:29:11) AcerSai: God…

(21:29:15) BlackC 2004: Sowhat’s up?

(21:29:30) AcerSai: I’m a fucking lunatic…as per usual.

(21:29:36) BlackC 2004: lol

(21:29:41) AcerSai: No not lol

(21:29:50) AcerSai: I’ve been freaking out for three hours.

(21:29:54) BlackC 2004: Why?

(21:29:59) AcerSai: I can’t stand this…

(21:30:05) AcerSai: I keep doing this to myself.

(21:30:15) AcerSai: “I’ll be on at work…”

(21:30:21) AcerSai: Not that you had any controll…

(21:30:30) AcerSai: I’m not blaming you…that’s not the point.

(21:30:35) AcerSai: Here’s my side.

(21:30:46) AcerSai: I expected you to be on and you weren’t all night…

(21:30:52) AcerSai: Andrew hasnt been on all night…

(21:31:05) AcerSai: Neither of you answered your pphone or returned my calls..

(21:31:15) AcerSai: and I’m alone…alone with my deminic mind making shit up.

(21:31:26) BlackC 2004: Adam, I was in the basement of a LARGE CEMENT building. I don’t get calls down there.

(21:31:32) AcerSai: I understand

(21:31:51) AcerSai: So I talked to Julian becasue I need someone to understand.

(21:32:01) BlackC 2004: And I’m sure there’s an explanation for why Andrew’s not online…. It is Wed night, and Ginny usually wants him to go to that church thing.

(21:32:07) AcerSai: he does what he tends to doa nd tell me the trth I don’t want to hear

(21:32:14) BlackC 2004: Like what?

(21:32:52) AcerSai: Mom asked what was wrong aand I unloaded on her about things and was like, “In the real world Chris is workng on a project unexpectedly and can’t get home, and Andrew staying late at work…and I freak out.”

(21:32:56) AcerSai: And it was true.

(21:33:08) AcerSai: But I get all fucked up and cant think logically

(21:33:41) AcerSai: So I sit and hate you both and freak out and make myself sick over it.

(21:33:46) AcerSai: Why do i do this!?!?

(21:33:59) BlackC 2004: I don’t know. I thought you were going to get counceling… Perhaps that’ll help.

(21:34:08) AcerSai: I want to give you space and myself space and give us time to deal.

(21:34:22) AcerSai: But at the same time I can’t let go and I don’t want to leave you alone.

(21:34:36) AcerSai: I feel I have to stay active and keep my fears from becoming realized.

(21:34:53) AcerSai: I’m tearing myself a milion diferent directions

(21:35:16) AcerSai: On part of me wants SO BAD to trust people, to trust you and for everything to be fine

(21:35:31) AcerSai: the oher part makes me distrust you and not beleive a word you say.

(21:35:47) AcerSai: I want the first side to prevail…and 6.5 days a week it does.

(21:35:57) AcerSai: But times like now, the darker side is laouder.

(21:36:04) AcerSai: I’m sorry.

(21:36:13) BlackC 2004: Well, there’s not much you can do.

(21:36:21) AcerSai: I don’t mean to keep doing this, you have no idea I want this to be fine.

(21:36:42) AcerSai: I wish I cuold say truthfully that I’ve moved on and you can do whatever you want and we’ll be fine.

(21:36:55) AcerSai: But I can’t and I know I’m being counterproductive.

(21:37:10) AcerSai: By not getting over thissoon enough I’ll puch you away and it makes it worse.

(21:37:40) AcerSai: It’s a slippery slope…ever step I take I take to back, and thse backwards steps push you away and make my slide faster

(21:38:17) AcerSai: I wish i were hapy all the time I wish we were fine, and I wish I didn’t make you think I’m crazy.

(21:38:31) AcerSai: I want you to respect me, and to have compassion, but I’m making it hard to do either I know

(21:46:08) BlackC 2004: Apparently hitting ctrl-ctrl-f2 shuts off your computer.

(21:46:23) AcerSai: ok…I’ll write that one down.

(21:47:20) AcerSai: What was the last thing you go before things died?

(21:47:39) BlackC 2004: (21:38:31) AcerSai: I want you to respect me, and to have compassion, but I’m making it hard to do either I know

(21:47:47) AcerSai: ok that was all of it.

(21:48:01) AcerSai: Aside from “You there?” right before it died

(21:48:15) BlackC 2004: Ahh

(21:49:54) AcerSai: So that’s my random over emotional tirdae for this evening.

(21:49:58) AcerSai: I’m sorry.

(21:50:02) BlackC 2004: It’s fine.

(21:50:10) AcerSai: Really Chris, I am.

(21:50:32) AcerSai: I don’t want you to think I’m a loon and like run away and stop talking to me or seomthng.

(21:50:37) AcerSai: 90% of the time I’m fine.

(21:51:14) AcerSai: Then I crash…and I usually crash but remain caml and cool…but when I crash and things like the whole not online thing happens I freak out.

(21:51:48) AcerSai: So I’m sorry to be annoying and IM you and call you. Just know that I’m nt in my right mind when I do that, but soon I’ll be in my right mind and all will be well.

(21:52:05) BlackC 2004: Well I hope so.

(21:52:09) AcerSai: But one quick (random and probably unwarrented) question

(21:52:14) BlackC 2004: What?

(21:52:19) AcerSai: Don’t get mad…

(21:52:29) AcerSai: But are you going to prom with Andrew?

(21:52:48) BlackC 2004: No. he’s going with GINNY! Have you missed the last 4 months he’s been talking about it?

(21:53:08) AcerSai: Yes yes I know, but I drempt it last night and I began wondering.

(21:53:25) BlackC 2004: Well I’m NOT!

(21:53:35) BlackC 2004: And even if I was, it shouldn’t matter.

(21:53:48) AcerSai: Again, I know, but I was wondering. Please don’t egt amd.

(21:54:07) AcerSai: There’s no need to hide anything from me.

(21:54:19) AcerSai: I know “it doens’t matter” but I’d still like to know these things.

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