Gym and Stuff

I’ve been getting super upset about my progress at the gym lately. I’ve plateaued and I don’t know what to do next. It’s also been annoying to not have a workout partner/friend to go with or even someone supporting me or encouraging me.

I should probably setup a new routine but even just going to the gym has been a hassle lately. I’m still going. Just not pushing myself like I used too. I’ve been STUCK at this 210lbs area for like 6 months now and even though I’ve been slowly adding weights I just don’t see my Body fat go down or my Muscle mass go up!

As for other stuff, things are still going with the guy. He moved out of the house and we have been seeing each other a few times a week. We’ll see how things continue. He’s super nice and we connect sexually, but so far I just haven’t seen the emotional connection. But those things takes time.

I am headed to Palm Springs this weekend to see grandma. It’s a memorial for my great aunt and my Grandma and my Aunts are going so it’ll be nice to see them there.

Then I come back for one day then off to Hawaii.. I’m Super excited about that but I still have a lot of planning that needs to be done!

I’m also finally starting to get working on my bedroom set. I’m nearly completed with the first dresser and I really am happy with how it’s coming out. I’ve learned a lot and there’s a lot that’s not PERFECT. But it looks great so far.

Vegas and Stuff

Not a lot has really happened TBH. USPS and I haven’t spoken in a couple weeks. I decided after his “I’m dating a POZ meth head” comment that I can’t deal with him.

I went to Vegas for a week. I was really dreading being stuck there for a whole week but it ended up being fun. I went for a conference but my anxiety got the best of me. I went to see shows every night which was super fun and met a couple guys while I was there. One of them was this guy from Shanghai, we spent 3 days together. He was super adorable but we talked politics and it was so crazy how brainwashed he was. Like he told me that the chinese social point system was great, that there are no labor/re-education camps in china and that the news/google is controlled by our government.

While I was there I also met this cute filipino boy who lives in Concord. We hung out one night and had fun but after that he went a little crazy and like if I didn’t answer him RIGHT AWAY on text, he would message me on instagram AND gridnr. Super annoying

The dates I had lined up all cancelled on me. 3 one weekend and 2 the next weekend 🙁

Supposed to have a date tonight with the math teacher. Excited for that to see how we click in person.

Work kinda sucks. While I was in Vegas my sys admin just quit on me. Which is good and bad. It’s bad timing but I’m glad he quit cause I was going to fire him anyway. Also like 3rd quarter of last year I ewnt to my boss and said “I need a market adjustment raise” because I make WAY UNDER MARKET here. He said “Sure we can do that but it has to wait until January”. Ok, fine. I can wait. Well the company as a whole gets a cost of living increase in March… come to find out. I”m NOT getting a cost of living increase. Which is total BS.

Going out in SF tomorrow night with Darin and one of his friends. That will be interesting.

So, let’s start with the easy stuff….So the one date guy he and I hung out again, I spent the night at his house. We chatted after that. He wanted to hang out. Then BAM yesterday. “Sorry, but I’m just not ready to date anyone right now”. WTF.

USPS we have been chatting nearly every day. We had lunch and he really pissed me off there. Like the VERY FIRST THING he said to me was “Oh, I’ve been dating this poz guy but he dumped me because he’s a meth head.” Ok. WTF. Apparently he went to therapy which is good his first meeting was the day before he messaged me again. I wonder if that had anything to do with it. I dunno what else to say about him. Just normal chit-chat, we haven’t really hung out again.

Pasta and I have been chatting but not very much and keeping thins very light. Which I’m fine with. I’m honestly not sure where I want things to go with him.

Had a few dates over the past week. One was a therapist who said he doesn’t like to talk outside of work because work makes him talk to much. So that’s clearly a no-go. I want a partner who is willing to talk to me. Another was a guy from SAC but we didn’t really click very well, he’s nice and super into plants and stuff.

Supposed to have a date this Sunday with a 6’3″ Asian guy, he looks super cute, but we haven’t really talked much so I don’t know anything about him and then going to have another date with this younger math teacher.

I just don’t know what’s up with me or what’s wrong with me. I seem to have no problem GETTING dates, but I can’t seem to keep any of them past 1-2 dates. I’m getting really sick of this.

Today is day 10 of working straight through and someone booked a meeting for me today from 4-5pm. I leave work at 4pm. 🙁

The trailer business is also down this year. I’m super super NERVOUS right now cause I only have two reservations for all summer so far.

I need a ride

So, yesterday was my birthday. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Since last update, not much communication from Dentist. I tried to reach out to him a few times, always got short answers. I asked him directly if we were going to hang out again, He said “Yea sure”. But hasn’t followed through on that. So whatever.

Went on another date with this guy from SAC. He was nice, but not really my type. If he lived closer, I could for sure see being friends with him.

Then out of no where last Friday USPS texts me. “I need a ride”. Ride length, about 10 minutes. Of course, I’m crazy, I agree to drive him. But the whole time, my mind is racing with questions like “Why me, why not uber, why not a shuttle, why not this or that”. He just needs to get his car from the Toyota dealer. I drive and pick him up. He gets in the car, we start chatting as if nothing had happened. As if it hadn’t been MONTHs since we spoke. I dropped him off, that night he texted me: “thanks for the ride, I owe you lunch or something”. A little banter back and forth about what “or something” meant. Then a few hours pass and he texts “Goodnight Chris”. I send a bitmoji back to him.

I talk to my therapist about this, she suggests I reach out to him, agree to the lunch. Discuss things. I would really love for him to be back in my life. As friends, as more? Who knows. He has a lot to deal with on his own before we could be “more” but the thought is always there in my mind about him. I miss his strong arms and hands. We’re supposed to have lunch on Sunday.

Yesterday was my birthday. A few days before I received a card in the mail from Pasta. Another person popping up who I haven’t spoken too in months! In this case, we haven’t said a word since 7/27! I figured that would be all I hear from him. But then on my birthday he texts me. Banter back and forth, again just as if we had been talking yesterday. As if we hadn’t got in a huge argument 6 months ago!

I honestly don’t know how to respond to either of them, or how to act. Both have a lot of underlying issues that we need to openly discuss first.

AND THEN the shocker…. Yesterday I get a text from this guy I went on ONE DATE with back in November. He was nice, we had a lot of fun. But nothing ever came up after that. He texts me happy birthday. I reply thanks and start talking. He invites me to come over. I go, I spend the night… WTF. So in the past week THREE people that I had cut contact with, re-appeared in my life. WTF.