Two Months In…

Well, it’s been about two months since the big move and honestly, I’m really regretting it. I wish I had just stayed in my house in Tri-Cities and done the whole funemployment for a while and waited for a better job to come along.

The move went fine, I am staying in a rental house for now. I tried to put offers on a bunch of houses down here but I just kept getting out bid and the fact that the houses are JUNK and asking $500k is just annoying. Most of the stuff around here was built in the 70’s and 80’s and hasn’t been updated since. So you’re spending $500k and need to spend another $100k to bring it up to date.

I was hoping that by moving back here I would get back in touch with the climbing people that I used to really enjoy hanging out with. Tim, Leo, Mike, etc. Unfortunately, none of them seem to either A) Care or B) Know that I’m here. I know for sure that Tim does, I’ve made hints about hanging out but he never follows through or does actually hang out with me. I messaged Mike and no reply. I haven’t really tried to message anyone else. I’ve gone on two dates since arriving here but neither one of them really hit my fancy. So I’m still just spending more time sitting at home, walking astra and being a fucking bitch.

I still think about Calvin every day and wonder if it was the right or wrong thing to do. What would have been, what could have been. If there’s still a chance for something to be.

I am starting a new business venture. Explore More California. I bought a trailer and am renting it out. I’m hoping that my first rental will be this weekend. We shall see if it comes to fruition.

Jason is really annoying me again lately. He keeps telling me that we’re such great friends, that I mean so much to him. But then his actions speak louder then words. IE after my old job was over we had been talking for MONTHS about going to Palm Springs for a long weekend and just chilling and hanging out. Literally the week before he changes his mind that he can’t go because suddenly some other trip came up. But yet he was able to go to a bachelor party in New Orleans, go to a wedding in Los Angeles and go on a fucking two week trip to Russia. Then last weekend for July 4th, I asked him to come down for the 4 day weekend to hang out and go camping in my new trailer. He complained that the drive was too long (5.5 hours, exactly half way). Then this AM he sends me a text at 5am saying “really random, but road trip to Idaho”… Which is, you guessed it, 5.5 hours from him. He does this to me over and over and over again and it’s really annoying. He’s supposed to be my “best friend”, that I mean so much to him but yet coming to visit for a 4 day weekend is too much driving but going to Idaho for a 2 day weekend is fine? Makes no fucking sense.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me as I don’t really understand why I don’t seem to have any friends. I used to have this huge group of friends that I went hiking and climbing with and then we just sort of fell out, since then I’ve been on this downhill slide of friends and people I talk too.

The job is the job.. I’m already frustrated with it. The CEO is rudderless and changes direction constantly and can’t keep focused on one thing. When I interviewed I was told I would have an office and when I showed up for my first day I was given a cubicle RIGHT in the middle of the office area. I’m making less money now then I was 3 years ago working in LA and cost of living here is WAY higher then LA. And when I interviewed I made it clear that I was NOT going to be fixing “printer” problems or “my monitor doesn’t work” or “i need email setup on my iPhone” and guess what I am doing. I am too fucking far in my career to be fixing your monitor which you are too stupid to figure out came unplugged from the wall.

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