10 year plan update

5 year ago, I wrote a post about a 10 year plan.

I will say, it’s on track / advanced a bit. I said to wait 10 years before buying boat. I did it in 5. My debts have skyrocketed, but that’s actually a good thing. My debts now are $2.9Million.

We’re def MUCH farther now to universal healthcare. That’s never gonna happen with Trump.

Anyway, the whole boat thing was a failure, never found anyone to do shit with me. etc etc.

I’m at home now and SO READY to leave. My family is driving me insane. We went to Andy’s today to help him remodel his house and he had such a fucking attitude I had to leave. I am not going to put-up with that shit any more in my fucking life.

I found my first BF on grindr here… Awk.

Anyway, I’m out. I got more to say, but not in the mood to write.

Docked back in the USA

So we arrived back in the USA a few days ago… The trip up was nice but a few days were insane. We went from Marsh Harbor to Charleston and that was a a very peaceful trip, we had to motor almost all the way but it wasn’t bad.

Charleston was nice. Pulling in there I started to cry and it felt like “home” to me. Got to see Tris again which was fun and just walking around the city is so fun and cute.

We left Charleston after a few days and headed up to Hayes, VA. That was a ROUGH ride but we got to sail almost the whole way. One night we were having 25-30knt winds, waves breaking over the helm. It was crazyyyy. I don’t think any of us slept that night. I felt so bad for Astra.

During this trip though, I decided that going to greece is def out of the question at least with astra on board. So I’ve decided to put the boat on the market and see if it sells. IF it does, fine. If it doesn’t fine.

Being with my parents has been frustrating though. They bicker all the time, no one can make decisions. I want to go hookup but how do I excuse myself to go leave.

We are supposed to haul out tomorrow, we will see if it happens with the way the weather has been.

And lastly, TRUMP! WTF This man is fucking ruining this country!

Seriously?

Wow. Two posts in one day…

So last night I posted a pic on instagram with the caption “Last night in The Bahamas”.

Charles replied: Seriously?
Me: Yes, Why?
Him: Crazy! Congrats you made it through your adventure
Me: Thanks. But now what. haha
Him: Wish I had a crystal ball for you

So. Now I write to you what I want to reply to him. Instead of sending him anything else.

I don’t need a crystal ball, what I need is just to be happy and find that happiness again. I want to have my bf, our house, our chill lives in the city, going out, making dinner together, talking. I just want to be happy with life. Even those small things again. I want to appreciate and be appreciated. I want to come home to my husband, cuddle his head on my lap. Kiss him and laugh and cry together.

I want to love and be loved. I want to feel safe and carefree in my own home. I want to have plants in our window. I want to have a fridge full of food. An espresso maker. I want to have your 10 alarms going off every morning.

I want us.

One year since I decided

One year ago today is when I made that decision to just say fuck it and let’s go buy a boat.

Today, we are on our way back to the USA… And after one year since deciding and 6 months in Bahamas. I’m still just as lost as I was back then… Still just as unsure about what to do, where I’m going, what to make me feel fulfilled.

I answered the question: Can I do this alone, yes.

Do I want to do this alone. Fuck NO.

So what’s next, I have no idea. Hopefully something will happen once I’m back in the states.

I don’t even know what I should be doing as a human to decide these things.