We made it to George Town! It’s been a heck of a trip but I’m here! This is as far south as I can go with my insurance.
I had therapy the other day and my therapist was like ‘you’re unhappy here, you’re unhappy in SF, figure it out’. not exactly, he was way nicer about it but that was basically the point.
I’m doing something amaaaazing. I just always come back to not having a partner to do it with. I am traveling with this other boat and it’s been so nice having them around. There’s a straight couple on the boat and one gay guy. the straight couple is so cute working together, kissing each other, etc. I just want that.
The gay guy has been on my boat the past two days, it’s been great having someone here to help with stuff. talking about stuff, doing dishes, etc. Even though nothing happened between us, he sleeps in another bed, etc. But it’s just nice having that companion here.
When I was in SF, I was always unhappy, dreaming about what I could be doing. Unhappy that Charles could never take time off work to go do fun things. Unhappy that we couldn’t’ plan things. But then here I am doing something super amazing and all I want is to be back in our apartment, cuddling, going out to bars, cooking dinner for him, etc.
now that I’ve had this experience, I think I’ll be happier being more “domestic” like that. But it has shown me that I _NEED_ to get out, have adventures, travel, etc. Even if it’s just weekend trips to enjoy life.
I don’t want to just “sit” at home all the time. I want to get out and do things. But I also think that I’ll be more accepting of just being home in SF or wherever with my partner.
I was telling all this stuff to Sean the other day and he was like “you’re describing my life, it can also be lonely”… But that’s also because Sean doesn’t go out and do stuff on his own during the day.
James and Jay met the new guy yesterday…. wonder how that went. Wonder what he’s like.