Guests are gone and I’m back to being lonely again… I’m still hanging out with that other boat but starting to feel like I’m spending too much time with them or encroaching on them a bit…
It’s weird, like when I’m with people, I just want to be alone. When I’m alone, I want to be with people. WTF make up your mind Christopher. What I really want is just to be with ONE person… I just want to share this experience with one person, spend time with them, cuddle with them, fuck, make dinners, go snorkeling. Plan our life and times together.
I have to keep reminding myself I’m in paradise, doing what a lot of people only dream about doing. But at the same time. I feel just like shit. Don’t want to do anything, just want to lay in bed all day.
I def bought WAY too much food for this trip. I don’t think I need to buy any food at all other than fresh veggies again until I get back to the USA.
Starting to freak out a bit about work, IE am I going to have enough money to live life with.
What do I do when I get back to the USA, where do I live, how do I survive, etc. Already starting to think about my trek back. Where do I land, how much time do I spend between the boat and living on land. Do I drive back to CA again?
Hut and Sean invited me to Norway in May. Nathan and Mike invited me to Greece in August. Need to start planning this shit out and how can I afford it.
I have four apartments empty for the past month and that’s freaking me out a bit.
Fucking be happy Christopher…. You’ve achieved so much. Live it up! What are you complaining about…
I’m sitting here looking out at Crystal blue waters and complaining.