I wish I could feel as WANTED as people seem to want Charles.
Everyone is in love with him, everyone goes out of their way to hang out with him. Over the weekend I got a random message on Reddit. Basically the person said that we had an ex in common. Obviously it had to be Charles, so I asked him. It was the guy he dated from 2011-2013. This ex from 11 years ago is still seeking him out, still in love with him.
Charles also admitted last week that Don said he was in love with him. Charles’ friends go out of their way to make time to hang out with him in his schedule. Serge (who first said he was going to kick him out) is now saying he’s going to give him a discount in rent to “help him with his college expenses”. Everyone wants to be with Charles, everyone wants to be around him, people go out of their way to spend time with him
He treats people like SHIT. He doesn’t reply to them, he ignores them, he doesn’t ask about their lives. It’s a recurring theme. That’s just how he is.
He texted me the other day and said “I had a dream about you” I replied. “that’s weird, I’ve been dreaming about you too.. What was your dream about”. He then told me what his dream was about, but never asked me what my dreams were about. Then we talked a little bit about our lives, but again, it was mostly about HIS life. Just like how when we were together, he didn’t ever ask about my life, or my day or how I was feeling.
He asked me for some advise on something. I wrote him a huuggeee reply with my advise. He didn’t even reply, didn’t say “thanks for the advise”. Just ignored me/it.
How do I get people to WANT to hang out with me, how do I get people to go out of their way to WANT To be with me. I think/look back to my time in LA and I used to have that, I had people fawning over me, wanting to hang out.
Kellie says, It’s not that they want to be his friend, is that’t that they just are lusting over him and want to fuck him. Mostly true. Most of these people who are all about Charles are just in love with him. Just want to fuck him.
I’m really starting to think this boat idea is a good idea. I’ve been putting a lot of effort into trying to figure out how to make it work. I’ve been starting to float it by people as ideas. Everyone so far has been supportive. Honestly, my biggest fear is just being there alone. But this guy on instagram who has a boat says that “getting a boat makes you a magnet” hahaha. Gays think you have a super power.
Just frustrating. I just want to be wanted. I still want Charles to want me. I want him to call me and just talk, just ask about my life. I want to be open with him about stuff going on. I want him to CARE about me. I want him to apologize still about how he treated me. He never will.