Old man Sailing.

So last week I was in San Diego for a week long class of sailing. It was a very fun time but leaves me feeling a bit In my own head about it.

There was this old guy on the trip. We found out he was 87, his wife died 6 months ago. He’s taking the class because he wants to buy a sailboat and sail on his own. But he’s so old and weak he couldn’t really do anything. I spent a lot of time working with him to help him out.

It hurts seeing this. This old guy, trying to make one last hurrah in his life. Experience one last big thing. He told us some stories from his life and he’s had a pretty amazing life. Lived in Switzerland, some other cool places. No kids, just him and his wife of 65 years. He was a high school science teacher.

It really makes you think. I don’t want to end up being that. I want to live my life but I keep holding back. I’m scared at times to make those jumps. I don’t want to do them alone. But to really experience things, to see life, to see the world. You have to just jump.

I’m really on this kick. Quit my job by December. Buy a boat. Do something. I’m just not 100% sure WTF it will be.

And where does Kellie play into this. we sort of had that discussion this past weekend. Like, how can I make my dreams happen and he can still fulfill his dreams. How can we support each other, if we last that long.

And honestly, I’m not even sure this is what I want. WTF would make me feel fulfilled… What would make me happy every day to wake up and do. What about Astra? What would I do with her. Does she come on a boat with me? Do I spend all year on a boat, do I spend 6 months on boat and 6 on land. Do I buy into a charter program and spend 12 weeks on a boat in various places.

Would friends come and visit for a week or two at a time. If Kellie and I don’t make it, would I find a guy on the water?

I watched this 90 minute seminar from one of the YouTube people I watch. He basically was pushing this idea to just buy a boat, spend 6-12 months on it in a place like the Caribbean and see what it’s like. See if you LOVE it. If you don’t like it at the end, what would a year cost you on the boat? $60k-70k?

What about health insurance and my HIV meds? How/where would I pay for those.

What about all my JUNK!

The instructor for the class said I should seriously consider teaching. Maybe I can mesh that into my lifestyle. Could I foster kids while on a boat? What would I do to fill my days?

What if I am single.. Can I do this alone?