This song is so fitting right now. Charles hung out with Eric last night. I texted him goodnight and he replied: “I will. Eric and I are talking about deep shit. He feels like there are “loose ends”. Don’t worry. Just clarifying things with him. I’m a bit annoyed but better to tell him now than never”.
Ugh. I am just so nervous that this guy is going to do anything he can to get Charles back. It’s like we’re in a tug of war.
Things have been great with Charles, I’ve been happy, etc. He told me before I left for Iowa that he was going to spend Christmas with Eric and his Family. I expressed that I was’t comfortable with that and he cancelled which was nice of him to do.
I wish Eric would fucking just disappear. I know he never will. I know Charles and him are great friends and I’m just going to have to deal with this BS. But it really hurts every fucking time they hang out. Every time they hang out, I’m worried. “Will I hear from him the next day”.
Like last night, I told Charles, “Text me when you’re home safe”. He said “I will.”… I never got that text. It’s a repeat of what happened last time. Now of course I am sitting here waiting for him to text me. Thinking to myself: “It’s 7:10am, he’s said he worked at 8am, why isn’t he awake and texting me yet”.
I dunno, the other thing is that he’s still not 100% comfortable with my status which upsets me too. He’s getting on Prep which is great.
I wait and see…