Today, Dec 1st is World AIDS Day and I wanted to take some time to share my story and why I’m riding in AIDS/Lifecycle. Growing up in the mid-west in the ’80s and ’90s, the only thing I knew about HIV/AIDs was that it was a death sentence. When I came out to my parents in 2000, pretty much the only thing I can remember from that conversation was my dad saying “You’ll be dead from AIDS by the time you’re 25”.
Moving to California in 2004, as a young gay man, my world changed. I signed up for my first AIDS/Lifecycle in 2007 completely ignorant of HIV. I met so many amazing people and learned so much about HIV/AIDS. It isn’t a death sentence, you can still have a long and healthy life by taking just one pill a day. You could be “undetectable” and have a healthy, loving relationship. I made some of my closest friends on the ride that year.
In May 2011, my life changed forever. I tested positive for HIV. I was 28 years old. I walked out of the clinic and broke down crying. I called my friend Mok and we spoke for hours, he reassured me that everything would be alright. He reminded me of all the things I learned on the ride, about how it’s treatable, you could still live a long healthy life. But even with that knowledge I still felt scared, ashamed, dirty, and that no one would love me again. I wanted to kill myself. Without the love and support of the people I met on the ride, my close friends, I wouldn’t be here today.
Over the past 10 years, I’ve been ashamed of my status and battled horrible depression. Even in places like Los Angeles and San Francisco the rejection and ignorance is abundant. The number of guys who reject me because of my status or end up rejecting me due to fearing it, is disheartening.
I’m now finally coming to accept myself, I’m thriving, successful, and happy. However, I still constantly face rejection and fear of HIV. Every time this happens, it hurts and brings back those painful memories.
It’s time to end that stigma, it’s time to be proud of who I am, I am not defined by my status. It’s time to share my story and help educate people. We need to end the stigma. With medications such as PrEP we can easily prevent the spread of HIV. With the knowledge of U=U we know that an undetectable person cannot spread the virus to anyone else and with the advances in technology we will soon have an HIV vaccine and one day a cure.
I’m riding in AIDs/Lifecycle again in 2022 to help end the stigma, spread the knowledge and fight to end AIDS. Please join me by donating to my ride using the link in my bio. 100% of your donations go directly to helping people with HIV and to educate people about HIV. If you have any questions or want to learn more about HIV/AIDS please feel free to reach out to me.
Take some time out of your life and learn about HIV, learn that undetectable = undetectable and reach out to someone you know who’s positive and tell them you love them.