Sept 20, [Tool, "Relfection"]
RARR would be the best way to describe what I’m feeling right now. I dunno.
Sometimes the smallest things bother me. Not just bother me, but bother
me a LOT. Like when my friends go out and do things that I can’t be included
in. I know it’s not thier fault, I know that they want me to come, or do
whatever it is they’re doing, I know because they ask. (We’re going to assume
that people ask cause they want you there, just for the purpose of this
ranting). But I can’t be there, wether it be because of work, or school,
or distance, or something else. And my not being able to be there annoys
me. Really annoys me. I don’t know why either. I know that everyone else
has a life. I know that everyone else does thnigs that I won’t ever know
about. But if I know they’re doing something, that would invole me normally.
It bothers the hell out of me. Really really does. And that’s why when I
know about these things, I’m like, details, I want details about what happend.
I want to know everything, so I can feel as though I was there, or so I
can feel as though I was included. I guess that’s the best way to describe
it. It’s crazyness, I know. But it really does hurt me.