You know how they say opposites attract? I wholeheartedly agree with
that-but how do they live together? I think you can love someone without
being in love with them. I still love Kyle, we had a lot of good times
together, he was a great friend, but I’m not in love with him anymore.
There was a point when I was in love but that changed overtime. I think
that we were so different and had such different dreams that it was
pretty much impossible for us to stay in love.
I don’t think Ky and I are going to be able to be friends after the
divorce. I don’t think that there is going to be bitterness but there’s
so much history between us that I don’t think we’ll be able to maintain a
friendship. It makes me sad because he was my best friend and I feel
like I lost that.
I didn’t want to grow old with someone that I wasn’t in love with. I’m
no good at faking it and I’m guessing you aren’t either. It’s hard to
try to force a feeling that’s just not there. I’m trying not to give you
meaningless advice here but I don’t know if I can actually tell you
anything helpful.
So I’m going to hit the list now:
1) Andrew…good call. Boys come and go, friends don’t. If you have a
great friend don’t blow it on a relationship that probably isn’t going to
work out anyway.
2) Friends… Good luck with that. I’m not sure it’s possible to not
have them not go one way or another. Especially if the breakup doesn’t
end well. The only upside to this is that you find out who your real
friends truly are. If someone stops hanging out with you after you guys
break up then screw em. They aren’t worth your time.
3) Prom…That’s really sticky. I’m not sure if I’d want someone who’d
stay with me for the 10days and dump me afterwards or if I’d rather know
up front. I guess I vote for total honesty. If he’s agreeable you guys
get one last great night together, if not then at least he knows and you
were honest.
4) Ring… Can you get it back before you breakup with him without
causing any suspicious weirdness? Can you steal it and not say anything?
I don’t know why he’d want it after you break up. I mean I don’t have
any big feelings for my wedding ring right now. Maybe he’ll be a
grown-up and just give it back if you ask. Just ask before he has time
to get bitter and destructive-lol.
5) 16 long months… Dear Abby gives really good advice here-she says
it’s better to be single and happy than with someone and unhappy. These
few months of being single have been really kind of cool for me. Don’t
be afraid to be alone, it’s not the worst thing in the world, in fact
it’s pretty damn enjoyable. Have sex, have fun, hang onto your heart
until you find someone who deserves it. Don’t settle. If it’s in the
cards for you and Adam to be together you’ll find each other again; if
not you have some great memories of your time together.
Of course the wild card here is Adam. Even with the best of intentions
on how you want this to work out he may decide it’s easier to be hateful
and bitter about it. Just be as kind as you can when the time
comes-leave on a good note, you won’t regret it. Above all else-listen
to your gut-if your gut says leave, then leave.
So one final note on the relationship thing. I learned this the hard
way so if you don’t know then learn from my mistakes. Sex and love
aren’t one and the same. They are completely separate entities. Love
enhances sex, but sex doesn’t create love. Always know the difference
between the two when you’re with someone.
So off that note-how goes everything else? I’m still apartment hunting,
know anything good and cheap? Did I tell you I was looking into ISU? I
can’t afford to go for awhile but I miss school and ISU has one of the
best writing programs on earth.
Speaking off things I miss has it literally been forever since we’ve
done anything together? We have to do something soon.
Ok-I need to go do stuff. Keep me posted.