Happy Ending - Mika

Posted by Cj B on June 18th, 2008 in My Life (Post a comment)

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This song just came up on my random playlist and I thought I’d post it… It makes me cry so much. I give people everything I have. I give my heart and my soul to them, and they always just leave me with no hope, no love, no glory. I do feel like each time, I just wasted all that part, I feel like every day is wasted that I spent with them. My grandpa was amazing at this, he gave everyone everything too, but he never seemed to be hurt if people didn’t give back. It seems to me like everyone always gave back to him. Grandpa, how did you do it?

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can’t get no love without sacrifice
If anything could happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I’ve ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I’m wasted
No happy ending
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o’clock in the morning, something’s on my mind
Can’t get no rest; keep walkin’ around
If I pretend that nothin’ ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I’ve ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I’m wasted
no happy ending
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love

I feel as if I’m wasted
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

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In Memory Kenneth James Black

Posted by Cj B on May 15th, 2008 in My Life (Post a comment)

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RIP Kenny Black

Posted by Cj B on May 13th, 2008 in My Life (2 Comments)

Grandpa Black and Me

Kenneth James Black was born June 26, 1926, on the family farm one-fourth mile south of Lenox to Edgar and Etta (Recknor) Black. He left this life on May 12, 2008, to rejoin departed family and friends after a long illness with lung disease. Kenny grew up on the farm, enjoyed riding horses and attended country school. He was a life-long member of the Lenox Methodist Church beginning as a member of the Cradle Roll.

He graduated from Lenox High School in 1944, went on to serve in the United States Army as Corporal in Company B of the 328th Engineering Combat Battalion during the Korean conflict as a chauffeur to Army Generals and foreign dignitaries in Washington, D. C. Upon his honorable discharge he served 10 years in the Army Reserve and travelled annually to Camp McCoy for training. He later joined the American Legion Post 250 and served as Commander and recently received his 60 year certificate of service.

In his youth, Kenny could be found running the projector at the Lenox movie theater on weekends. After high school and upon returning from the service he drove a truck for Miller and Roy Trucking. In 1950 he became a salesman for Dixon Motor Company. He won numerous Ford Motor Company 300-500 Club sales awards over the course of his 34 years with Ford. Later Kenny and Bud Carey purchased Dixon Motor and operated it until closing in 1984.

Kenny found his life partner, Clytha Spring and they married July 12, 1952. They welcomed three children into their family: Janell, Kenneth James Jr (Jim), and Sheila. They were blessed with three grandchildren Chris, Andy, and Rebecca and one great granddaughter Keira.

Kenny served his community in several different capacities. He served as a volunteer on the Lenox Fire Department for over 21 years, multiple terms on the Lenox City Council, Taylor County Sheriff’s Posse, and was Civil Defense Director of Taylor County for many years. Kenny was an original member of the Taylor County Historical Society and served on the Board of Directors. He was instrumental in procuring land for the museum, getting the Round Barn moved to the Bedford site, and was one of the grounds keepers.

In 1955 he passed through the Degrees of the Tremont Masonic Operative Lodge No. 343 and also became a member of the Salome Chapter of the Order of the Eastern Star serving as officers in both. He later served as Rainbow Dad for Janell and Sheila.

He had many hobbies and activities to occupy his time. He spent time mowing Wilson’s Lake and watered the trees twice a week when the park first started. Kenny and Clytha started the Country Goose craft business in 1980 and created crafts until his health failed and he was no longer able to run the saw and do the sanding.

As an amateur photographer he enjoyed taking pictures of his family, civic events, and sites around town. He was creative and innovative as shown when he designed and built the “Stars for Illinois Street” annual Christmas display.

During his years as a member of the Sheriff’s Posse he helped with the Pony Express ride and spent countless hours parking cars for community events and was a trained weather spotter. He spent time qualifying at the target range and taught his son and grandchildren valuable safety and target lessons.

Through the years he always gardened. He made this a family event involving the kids and later the grandchildren. Kenny grew a record turnip that measured 23 inches around and weighed nearly 6 pounds. He loved to share the bounties of the garden with friends and neighbors. He loved spending time with his grandchildren passing on his knowledge to them and enjoying reading stories to his great-granddaughter Keira.

Preceding him in death were his mother Etta and father Edgar, brother Raymond and father-in-law Clyde Spring. Left to cherish his memory are his wife Clytha of 55 years, daughters Janell Black, Jim (Peggy) Black, Sheila (Dwaine) Mansfield. Three grandchildren Rebecca Weaver-Armes (Neil Hauser) of West Des Moines, Iowa; Chris Black of Redondo Beach, California; and Andy Black of Polk City, Iowa. He is also survived by one great granddaughter Keira Hauser, his mother-in-law Winnie Spring of Lenox and Raymond’s daughter Deb Black-Ralston (Jim Ralston) of Fontana, California. Surviving siblings are sister Betty (Dean) Weller of Sharpsburg and his brother Don of Lenox. He is also survived by numerous nieces and nephews.

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Weekend Recap…

Posted by Cj B on May 13th, 2008 in My Life (Post a comment)

Ok, So I am on the plane now and thought I would take some time to write about the weekend.

Lets see, I really didn’t do to much during the week. I went to the gym with Dustin one day and no gym the rest of the week. Iw as pretty lazy. Friday I went out with Sirin and Christian to this place in downtown LA called Seven Grand. It’s a whiskey bar that Guerrilla Gay bar was hosting at. Tons and tons of fun! We hung out and talked and played pool and what not. Matt was there and I tried buying him a drink, but he declined. How sad! :( OH well.

Drove back to my place after that and the three of us drank the bottle of wine that Constantine and I brought back from Austria. It was not very good. Christian spent the night and Saturday morning I drove him home and then was getting my car washed when I got the first of many bad news phone calls during the weekend. I had planned to hang out with a bunch of people and go to a gallery opening that night, but I cancelled all those plans and just ended up sitting at home all day reading and doing random computer stuff and debating about what I should do.

Sunday I got up and went rock climbing. It was just me and Jerry setting up so that was fun. We talked a lot and he taught me some interesting stuff. Jenny and Megan showed up and some other guy. We all did some rock climbing on three different climbs. I made it to the top of two of them and then failed on the last one. The last one is called Birdshit crack and I have yet to make it up that one. There’s this weird move you are doing because you’re coming out of this crack and have to turn and get yourself up somehow. Anyways, it’s hard to explian, but I just can’t keep my footing on it. Very annoying.

Had a great time rock climbing, but I got two calls during that with more bad news. After climbing we went up and had a picnic up on this mountian thing and just chatted and stuff. Lots of fun!

Drove home after that, called Constantine on my way home and of course he didn’t answer. I was debating about what to do and ended up just calling my boss and he said to go home and work from there. So I bought the tickets and then freaked out because my flight left at 5am Monday morning and this was 5pm Sunday night. So I had to arrange someone to take care of the cats and drive me to the airport and I had to pack everything. What a mess. I was freaking out.

My friend Rob came over and we hung out for like 45 minutes and watched some TV and caught up. It was relaxing to have him chill with me. He’s very laid back and cool.

Called Constantine again and left another message about me being in Houston on Monday for 3 hours and seeing if he wanted to have coffee or something.

He called back a little later and we talked. I was very angry with him and with everything else that’s going on and called him an asshole. As soon as it came out I felt so horrible. I wish I could have taken it back, rewind the tape…I didn’t know what to do. We talked about a lot of random things. Sounds like he’s having a great time in Houston, sounds like he’s moving on and forgetting about me and all the great times we had together. When I got back from Lone Pine….(stop me if I wrote about this already??) anyways, I noticed that someone from houston opera house and Halliburton had both spent a LARGE amount of time reading EVERY entry about Constantine and I all the way back to when we first met. I find this very very strange, why are they reading about all this a month after it happened. Why are they spending so much time going back and reading about everything that’s happened… I don’t get it. He said he knew they had done it. Sirin has her theory, but I am guessing that’s not the case.

Anyways… Being in Houston, being so close and yet so far away from him. In the short month I feel like we’ve already grown so far apart. I’m moving on very well, but with all this shit going on, I just want him back. I want to hear his voice and have him comfort me. After readin “Call me by your name”. I keep hoping that he’ll show up in Iowa, we’ll see each other from across the room, run into each other’s arms and kiss and swing each other around and be so happy (ala the wedding scene). I kept hoping while I was waiting in Houston that he would show up at the gate and say. “I’m comging with you”. I know that he won’t, but I need support right now, I could really use someone to lean on. To cry on his shoulder, to hold him and have it feel like everything will be ok. I wish he could be there in Iowa, to sit in the hot tub, watch the sky and talk about my grandpa with me.

My crying has been so random lately. I just can’t stop it. It’s very annoying.

On a funny note. There is this spanish couple in the seat infront of me on this flight, they have lunch on this flight (amazing!) anyways, they don’t speak ANY English, the flight attendant was aksing everyone if they knew how to say “Turkey” or “Ham” in spanish. No one knew. She had chicken, beef and fish on her little translation card, but no Turkey or beef. Anyways she started making farm sounds. It was really funny. Then they answered by mimicing the sounds. Very entertaining. lol. On the flight from LAX to Houston, I had the whole exit row to myself. That was very nice. :)

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