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Weirdo
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I am normal. Are you? Have you ever questioned if you are normal? Do you think I’m normal? Are your parents normal? Are your friends normal? Your clothes? The way you talk? What you do in your spare time? Is all that normal?
What the hell is normal exactly? Well, I’m thinking about it to much, so I’ll have to consult my Webster’s Dictionary.
Normal, adj.: 1. conforming to a norm. 2. average.
What a discusting definition!
Who would want to be normal after reading what it means? Consider the first definition of normal. Do you see what I see? The word “conforming” is in that definition.
Now, incase you don’t know what conforming means, it is when a person decides to give up on being his own person, with his own beliefs and dreams, and instead joins some sort of stereotype. In other words he becomes a loser. And not just a loser, either — a pathetic, pansy ass loser! [Now we get to the name calling part of the article, you see, because it's well desereved.]
Now I shall ravage the second definition: average. What the hell is that? Alright, let’s sit here. Let’s be average. Let’s be all nice and average. Average in school is a C grade. Do you really want to be graded with a C? I don’t think so!
Anyway, conformity is what stereotypes thrive on. So let’s pause to picture this beautiful, yet frightening scenario:
It is a beautiful morning in Plover, Wisconsin. The sun is warm as it comes up, casting rays of bright light upon the city. Birds are chirping and calling out - blah, yuck, let’s edit that and go straight in to the next scene please.-
Nathan Smorynski heads out to school. As Nathan slowly stumbles into the room, everyone turns to glare at him in pure hatred and terror! Why is this? Because Nathan refuses to dress up so-called normally, like those jocks from Columbine. Because Nathan wears phat pants, a yellow and blue mesh shirt and a backwards cap! Oh no! You can’t wear hats in school beacuse it encourages gun-shooting massacres and teenage pregnancy! Well [becase you watch the TV News], you can just imagine what everyone is thinking.
“Nathan isn’t normal!”
“He’s going to pull a gun out of those baggy pants I bet!”
“He must listen to Marilyn Manson and play violent video games, and look at sex on the internet like Al Gore said. I bet he has a trench coat!”
“I bet that boy is a fag.”
“Look at that backwards badseball cap! Call the police on that pimp!”
“He needs to read the Bible!”
“Skateboarding! Isn’t that a crime?”
“Those tattoos are Japanese! He must have written it in a different language cause what it says is too evil for English!”
“Look at that shirt! He must be obsessed with sex!”
“Jnco pants? Aren’t they satanic? They’re baggy, so they must be!”
“He isn’t normal - not like the rest of us - an outcast - not normal.”
But I wear these clothes and do these things because that is Nathan Smorynski, and it makes me feel nice. And all those football players wear what makes them feel nice, but because America thinks that’s “normal,” they get official approval to feel nice all day in thier clothes.
The fact that there are more skateboarders [and gay people] then there are football players - that fact gets ignored. So we have a country where most people are abnormal!
Well fuck that, boys! Fuck that! Didn’t they learn anything from Columbine? Didn’t they learn anything from Matthew Sheppard? Normalnes squashes everything worth anything. Normalness backfires. By backing people into a corner, normalness causes violence.
Einstein wasn’t normal. Harvey Milk wasn’t normal. Michelangelo wasn’t normal. Elmo wasn’t normal. Why are we obsessed with normal?
Europeans and Nigerieans don’t sit all day thinking about being normal, and they’re better off. This country’s biggest problem is: you shouldn’t have to go to San Francisco to be yourself. [Even in San Francisco, you have to be a normal version of "gay." The Castro thinks "raver" is abnormal. That's America!]
This country would be better off if they celebrated people for thier differences, as they are, how they feel comfortable - wouldn’t that be beter for everyone? So-called “normal” people wouldn’t want to be forced to be gay or wear baggy pants or not be jocks. In fact, any of those things would probable drive them to suicide, lol.
Why are we so obsessed with normal? Normal looks to me like fear. Normalness says we’re scared to feel anything. Normalness says we are scared of being human!
Now, you may be wondering what this has to do with being gay? But it has everything to do with being gay, because - since most people will never be gay, “gay” by definition will always be “abnormal.” Now in a happy world where we celebrated people who are unique, gay people would be the most popular because they’d be unique. And that’s the kind of country we want to create.
And it’s why it’s not good enough just to fight for the right to be gay. That doesn’t mean anything. First we have to get people - like people in other countries - to dump this 1980’s-1990’s obsession with being “normal”. Only then are we gonna be able to be who we wanna be.
So what is my definition of normal? Me!
What’s yours? You!
Lessons’s over! I’m going to go out where it’s abnormal! Take it easy.
–Nathan Smorynski

