Just feeling down

I just feel like I’m never going to date again or be happy dating. This past week or so I’ve been super down and like nearly in tears. I just get home from work, lie on the couch, go to bed at like 8pm and sleep.

I am so unhappy with work and just angry all the time. This fucking Marketing Manager woman is always on our case about stuff and is just annoying AF. I got into a little argument with her the other day about domain names. She said “None of the domains are working”. I said, please tell me which ones because the ones I tested ALL WORKED, she send a screen shot of like 10 and said “None of these”. I tested the first 5 and they worked fine. Then she finally told me exactly which TWO. So make up your fucking mind bitch, all of them or only two of them?

I have been on a few dates and just nothing seems exciting. I just feel like I want to not do anything. One guy was a total catfish, his pics were clearly from like 10+ years ago. The next day he texted me and said. “Honestly, I can’t see us moving forward”… I replied back and said “I agree”. He replied and said “omg, awk. I meant “can””. So ever since then things have been super weird, but I’m honestly not really into him anyway.

Had another date with this guy who’s a chef at some Thai place in SF. He is cute and nice but a little too fem for me. He also does drag.

I just want to find a cute asian guy who’s into the dreams/ideas that I have, someone who can share in what I want to do in life.

There’s a laundromat for sale near me. They Net $5k/month currently all brand new machines and they want $250k for it. That seems a bit excessive.

The other day I found this old article from our HomoClimbtastic Labor day west coast trip. Really brought back fun memories and times with Davey. I texted him and we chatted a little bit but he didn’t seem that interested in chatting after all these years.

That’s something else I’ve been noticing more lately and just giving up on guys faster. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do really. For instance there’s this guy I matched with on Tinder. The past week of messages include:
HIM: How as your weekend.
Me: It was great, did some yard work, walked the dog and hung out with some friends. How about you?
HIM: Good, just relaxing. Have a good week ahead.
Me (Tuesday): I’m glad it’s a short week, do you have anything going on this week?
HIM (Friday): I’m in NYC.
Me (Sunday): How was NYC? What did you do there? When are you back?
HIM: Ate Mostly.

So clearly this guy is not interested, right? Like why waste my time trying to carry on the conversation. Why are these people even on here. If you’re not interested, just say so.

Parents arrive on Friday and we have a lot of work to do. I spent $4500 on the deck stuff. $2200 so far on the gravel for the front yard. This yard project is going to end up being like $15,000.

This guy I used to climb with got married last weekend. Makes me sad. What am I doing wrong in life. :'(

Robbery Update and other stuff.

Update on the robbery. They caught the guy, in Apple’s car, a block from my house.. Super scary that he was STILL SO CLOSE to my place. That must mean he lives near by. So maybe people are right when they say he was watching.

Apple called me around noon on a Wed and said the cops needed someone to come take possession of the car. So I drove over there and waited around. There were about 10 police there when I first showed up which was super crazy. After about an hour a detective showed up and they started searching the car. They found my gun, gun shells and some other stuff in the car. So they impounded it for the day.

Honestly, this guy deserves to be in jail for LIFE. We looked up his history and he has been in and out of prison his entire life, multiple car thefts, multiple break ins, multiple possession of stolen fire arms, etc. It’s REALLY frustrating that California/the legal system keeps letting this guy back on the streets, how many more people is he going to rob in his life? How many people are going to be hurt by him. Is it really worth letting people like this back on the streets only to pick them up again a few weeks/months later?

I’m sort of nervous to call and ask for my gun back too. I don’t know what the process is there at all. But I really want that gun back. I spent so much money on it and it’s such a nice gun. It’s been customized just how I like it.

In other news, Apple and I have been hanging out as usual. He’s started calling me “honeybun” which I don’t know how I feel about that. Part of me wants to tell him to stop and the other part enjoys it. He’s off to paris for a week. We are going to go camping in Late September in Yosemite.

I have been busy working on my yard lately and it’s been very hard work but I am loving the progress.

Not many dates recently. Was supposed to go on a date with this guy tomorrow. However yesterday during the day I was SUPER BUSY and wasn’t replying to text messages. After a few hours I came back to THREE different messages from him: 1) “?”; 2) “? ? ?”; 3) “Hello?”… Ok, seriously RED FLAG warning to me. If you are already doing stuff like that and we haven’t even MET. Jesus.

I met up with this cute filipino boy who lives in Sac yesterday for lunch. He went through the K1 (90 day fiance) visa process and is married but his marriage is shit apparently. We talked about that and what he wants to do, etc. I feel so bad for him.

Calvin messaged me again yesterday to let me know that Grandma had been hacked… Ugh I just want to keep talking to him, find out what’s going on in his life. I miss having him around so much.

On my way to Yuba city yesterday I saw a farm for sale. 590 acres. I spent the rest of the drive day dreaming about owning it, having it be asparagus, blueberries and tangellos…. I have this fantasy of being a farmer but I feel the reality would suck.

I also really want to buy a that house in the woods…

My favorite gay resort in Palm springs is being sold! And it’s no longer going to be gay or nudist! So sad. I want to go one more time before they close but I just don’t have the time!!!


So this past weekend I went camping… And I got robbed.

The weekend started out like shit anyway. I was stressed, Friday morning was super busy at work. I got home and was super bitchy with Apple, but thankfully he was calm about it. We left and the trip got better. Got to the camp site around 9:30 pm and went straight to bed. Sat we got up, went on a nice long hike. Ate dinner in town, went to the hot springs. As we were leaving the hot springs I noticed I had three missed calls from my security system. I check my cameras and sure enough we had been robbed.

Drove home and got here about 1:30am. They got a lot of stuff including Apples’ Car and my favorite gun. Which sucks.

We cleaned up, boarded up the window and then went to bed. Sunday Apple was super distant and has been ever since. It’s sort of frustrating. I don’t know what to do.

We have a good time for sure but we both get onto each others nerves somme times. I enjoy our time together but I just don’t know what’s going on TBH. Like we ACT like BF’s but he doesn’t want to be dating, so that just sort of adds stress to the situation.

Calvin messaged me after the break in too. Which was nice of him.

My Tinder Stats

So, recently I saw on reddit someone post their tinder stats. So I downloaded my data and analyized it. 57,000 swipes, only 1,000ish matches. WOW. What a waste of time

You can check out your stats here: http://mytinderstats.com/

In other news, Apple and I have been hanging out a lot. Chatting every day, having lots of sex. But he only wants to be friends. I dunno. I mean it’s fine for now but I’m sure I’ll get attached. My biggest problem with him is he mansplains a lot, which I’m a pretty smart guy and he tries to tell me about shit I already know. It’s super frustrating sometimes.

He came up last weekend and helped me with my yard which was super nice of him.

I have a date tonight though with this guy but I feel like he’s going to flake on me. I really hope he doesn’t because we are going to this place called U Dessert in SF which looks amazing.

Tomorrow I am going to San Jose with Apple and we are going to do an official tour of Apple Park. I am also going to meet up with this guy Sam who I apparently used to climb with back in the day in LA but I honestly have zero memory of him. He’s _IN_ my phone book though so clearly we used to at least text or something.

Work has been super busy lately. We are finally moving forward with some projects so I have been busy working on those and doing coding and process stuff which I actually enjoy.

We had to do an “IT Survey” which has had some really annoying responses. But whatever. How about we do an ACCOUNTING SURVEY cause they fucking SUCK AT THIER JOBS.

Sunday I might meet up with this other guy but I don’t know. We will see. I’ve been super bummed lately after seeing JUST HOW BAD my tinder stats are. I really wish I had kept track of all the dates I got off that site and what happened with them.

Anyway, that was a quick update. I’m out.

HI and Apple

Hmm, so it’s been a bit since I updated but not much has really happened.

Update about HI guy, basically he’s out completely. I haven’t spoken to him in a couple weeks now. Right before July 4th he was pushing and pushing things and I kept telling him we just need to go slow and see what happens. Then on like July 3rd he was like “what if i just come there this weekend”. With a bunch of other stuff and I just had enough. I was going to give him a second chance but I told him we needed to be slow, just let things go and see what happens and he didn’t want to do that. So I stopped replying. He of course didn’t fucking send me my $800 for the flight to HI either.

The July 4th weekend trip was a ton of fun. Went with this guy who works at Apple, I don’t think I’ve mentioned him but we’ve hung out a few times and it always went well. We met up Wed afternoon and drove to Mendocino. Beautiful drive and good times. We got to the RV park and it was a mess, they packed people in SO CLOSELY. We got there kinda late so ended up just watching TV in the trailer. Also had sex.

The rest of the trip was just a normal trip, saw some stuff, camped, ate good food, more sex. He’s a nice guy but super unorganized and kinda dirty which is annoying for me. He also lacks common sense.

We talk every day though which is good. This past weekend I went to his place in SJ and it’s FILTHY. I honestly was super disgusted by it. Like even the light switches were dirty, dust bunnies everywhere, cat litter on the floor. The worst part about it was he said it’s “fine” he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Ugh.

Anyway we hung out this weekend and had a good time, very touchy-feely, etc. However he just got divorced and isn’t looking for a relationship but yet he treats me like we’re in a relationship. Constantly holding hands in public lots of sex, etc.

ZenDesk and I hung out Friday evening and we talked about his relationship as well. He’s in a sort of odd situation. Again though it’s annoying that he picked this guy in this super awk/weird situation over me. Like why was I the one who got friend-zoned right away. I don’t get it.

I matched with some super cute guy on tinder on Thursday. He leaves to move back to HK on Wed.

Other news the house is doing fine. I need to get some more yard work done though. Planning on spending this upcoming weekend on stuff there.