Dentist Overnight

So, I guess the Dentist is done? I dunno.

I was SUPER excited for that overnight trek. Monday I left work early, went grocery shopping, ran around packing/getting ready for it. Baked banana bread. Tuesday I left early again, rand home and packed up everything then left the house around 5pm. Took me a little over 1.5 hours to get there and as soon as I pulled in, I knew we had a problem. SIGNS EVERYWHERE saying “No Dogs”. I had specifically told him, I was bringing my dog. I asked him. Are dogs OK. He said yes.

I texted him, “We have a problem, no dogs allowed”. He said, “They don’t enforce it, no problem”. So I make 5 trips back and forth to my car to unload shit, while it’s POURING RAIN.

It was dark and raining, but the place looked SUPER SUPER cute. Rustic old cabin, etc.

I make one last trip to the car to get the dog out. There’s a guy standing next to my car, “Are you the one with the dog”. “Yes”. “We can’t have any dogs here, you need to leave”.

So, I make 5 more trips back and forth loading all the shit back into my care. Mind you, I’ve now been driving/packing/unpacking for 3 hours now. I’m hungry, I’m wet and Im’ VERY upset.

I leave to drive home, Dentist calls me and I’m driving in the mountains and I just tell him I cannot talk right now. He apologizes and refunds my money. I’m super pissed off. Not really at him but just at the situation in general. I should have fucking verified MYSELF that dogs were allowed. I was also annoyed AF because it was such a CUTE PLACE. I really wanted to stay the night.

I drive the 2 hours back home. Finally getting home at 10pm.

The Dentist and I have had a few texts since then, but nothing since yesterday. I guess he’s not interested now. I dunno.

I’m just so frustrated with dating.

USPS, Older Guys

I’m here in Yuba City this weekend working. Sort of sad about it too cause USPS and I had talked a lot about doing this project together. He was wanting to learn more about IT and this would have been a perfect task for him to learn on. Makes me think about him and miss him. I also really miss cuddling with him. He was so good.

Went on a date with a Dentist this past week. It was super fun, we talked a lot. We have a lot in common already that I can tell. He invited me to go on an overnight trip this upcoming week. So, of course since I’m CRAZY, I am going. Hope he’s not a murderer.

Also met another older guy on Tinder, he’s super nice so far as well, we have a date set for Monday.

I think I’m gonna focus on more guys my age and older…. They seem way more into moving my speed. lol

Dating is hard

So much emotions going on right now. 2019 is starting and I’m unsure what wtf is going on. First, things with Matt have been weird. I’m really not sure what to think/what’s going on with him. Ever since before Christmas he’s been sort of more distant. He hasn’t been texting as much, hasn’t send as many emojis, etc. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it. We met a few days ago for lunch and he had bought me a sweater, shoes and a shirt. That was nice of him. We had a good time but I just felt like we didn’t have much to say really. Last night he went to a NYE party and didn’t invite me. I saw a picture, it def wasn’t like a “close” friends thing. So not sure what his reasoning was. I mean I can also understand the side where it’s still very early and he doesn’t want to introduce me to all his friends. What annoyed me MORE about the situation is he didn’t ask me until like 10pm NYE what MY plans were. I also am not sure I can deal long term with him sleeping in until 10 or 11am. Everyone knows I’m an early bird. I am going to see him today. I dunno what to do.

Then last night, Calvin posted a picture of him and Will on instagram. I cried. I cannot get over him. I fucked that up so badly. I am cutting him out. I unfollowed him on Instagram and I’m not going to send him any more messages via text. I am debating if I should TELL him I’m going to ex-communicate him or not. I hate it.

USPS is still stuck on my mind. I miss him as well. I just want to be friends with him at least, but I don’t know how to go back. I don’t know if I can even go back on that.

I feel I have nothing to offer, wtf do I do. What makes me interesting? I don’t know. What keeps someone into me?

I just feel like everyone I know is in relationships and yet here I am still Single AF. what am I doing wrong. I fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me and I just can’t move on.

I sure hope 2019 brings along better things for me.

Mystery Gifts

So, things have been happening. And moving quickly.

Going back to USPS. We didn’t speak after the last post. The day after he sent me the “GoodBye Chris” message. I received a small present I had bought for him (a 10′ braided iPhone charger cable because his was broken). I don’t need it, so I just dropped it in his mail box. A week later (Friday evening) I received a box at my house via USPS. I instantly knew it was from him, he has VERY obvious handwriting. I didn’t want to open it. I was hoping there was at least a note in there, something. I figured he was just mailing me back the thing I dropped off for him and also sending me back some of the other stuff I left at his house.. Sunday, I finally opened it and it was fucking Christmas presents for me and Astra. I texted him a video of astra with the toy and said: “Astra and I say thanks”. He replied with “If you need someone to pet sit while you’re on a business trip I’m here.”. UGH. WTF.

In other news, the guy I went on the date with in the last post. We have had a few more dates since then and things are going well. I’m honestly thinking about just going “exclusive” with him.. You know, I’ve done the whole keep dating around, just do whatever and it never seems to work. So why not just jump into exclusive status and take the leap? See what happens? He’s super sweet, he calls me every day. We talk every morning. I mean there’s def things that are not perfect about him, but no one is perfect, no relationship is perfect. Everything takes compromise. There are two things that really concern me about him. 1) He’s def a city boy. 2) He’s a STRICT bttm! I need a code-name for him!

With the whole USPS thing though, I’ve been questioning what I want in a BF. Every bf I’ve had has been “smaller” than me. With USPS. He was the same size, but more muscular and older. I really felt comfortable with him cuddling me. We also had much more similar “outdoorsy” dreams, IE living in small town/communities. There’s some other things about USPS that I just really loved.

Ugh. Life is tough.