Author: Cj B

1984 – The Book and Play!

I finished this book a while ago, but I wanted to wait to write about it until after I had seen the play at the RedCat in LA. I’ll try and keep this post non-political!

So I am hoping that most people have read the book, or at least heard of it. I am not sure why it’s taken me so damn long to read it! I’ve been wanting to read it since probably 1984! The year is 1984; the scene is London, largest population center of Airstrip One, which is a part of the larger Oceania. Oceania is always at war with either EastAsia or Eurasia, at any given time, all records will indicate that they have always been at war with one or the other. When the war changes, all records are changed to reflect that. People disappear and are erased from history. Thoughtcrime and Doublethink are punishable by death. “‘Who controls the past,’ ran the Party slogan, ‘controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.'” Big Brother is always watching…

Winston, our main character works at the Ministry of Truth, which is just the opposite, constantly changing records and making lies. He meets a girl Julia who he falls in love with. Together they find the courage to join an underground group called ‘The Brotherhood’ which is trying to take down big brother. Together with his beloved Julia, he hazards his life in a deadly match against the powers that be.

The book was everything I was expecting it to be, and if you haven’t read it, go out and pick it up now and read it!

The play on the other hand was HORRIBLE! I hated it… They basically start you off at the end of the book, and the whole play takes part in the detention cells and they basically just read parts of the book to you. Anyways, I would not suggest spending the $40 to see the play. I feel bad for the people who spent $100 on opening night!

New Job!

4 years and 10 days at after I started here at this company, throwing up on my first few nights, being alone in Califorinia, working midnight to 8am, to being promoted through all the ranks to someone who has done and could easily do nearly every job this company has. I will be leaving my position in just a few short weeks now.

A week ago, I received a call from a company called Gourmet Trading. They had a job for an IT Analyst and wanted me to come in to interview. I figured I’d go in and then just use the job as leverage against my current company when my yearly review came up. Well, amazingly, they offered me the job, at MORE then what I make now, plus it’s more of a management job.

Soooo last Wed, I talked to the VP and let him know that I need a review ASAP. He said he’d talk to the CEO. Well I didn’t realize that he was out of town all week! So Friday afternoon I talked to the CEO and let him know what was going on. He said that he’d think about what he could do over the weekend.

This morning he comes in and the VP and CEO talked for over an hour and then called me in. The CEO basically said. “We think that it’d be best for your career if you just took this new job, there’s not really going to be an opportunity for you to move into management here.” So there it was. My 2 weeks!

Scary! I have been freaking out all fucking weekend about this shit! I am not sure how I feel at all about this. I am so scared to leave my current job, it’s so safe and comfortable! 🙁

Anyways, this weekend I was very busy even with a gimp leg!

Friday night I went out with Sirin and we watched Sex and the City which was TONs of fun! I really enjoyed the movie. After that we drove home like crazy drunk people! It was sooo funny, we had all the windows down, blasting Mika, singing along and going 70 down Artesia/Aviation!! 😀 After we got home, Kris came over and brought a bottle of Crown Royal and Dr Pepper! So we drank all that. He was here till nearly 3:30, we watched a few movies and talked. Had a great time.

Saturday morning I got up and went house shopping with Sirin, we found some REALLY cute places! The one she has an offer in on is uber cute as well. Maybe I will consider moving in with her! Got home from that and took a nap, then went out to the street fair and ate a really late lunch and had a great time. Came home and took some drugs for my foot and napped again! That evening I went out to 1984 (the play) at the Redcat. It was not so good, but I did have lots of fun going.

Got home that night and watched the movie Zerophilia. Which was actually VERY good.. I would suggest watching it.

Sunday I got up at like 10 and just laid around the apartment all day. I was so stressing over this job thing that I really didn’t want to see/talk to anyone. I did however go out to lunch with Erick, so that was fun. I spent the whole day watching Season 1 and 2 of Weeds. Which is just fucking hilarious! I cannot believe I’ve never seen this show before in my life!

Anyways, so with this new job. I will not have any vacation time for the next 90 days. So I decided that I am just going to use the fucking tickets to Houston and go. I’ve already been chatting with some people who sound really cool so I am sure I can find people to hang out with while I am there. I am excited to be going, but it’s going to be hard to NOT call you know who…

WHICH by the way, reminds me. Back in early March, he said that he would add me to his XM so that it would be cheaper for both of us. I told him to just let me know how much I owed him. He said, “Don’t worry, it’s my gift to you.” Well I just got a letter in the mail saying that it went to collections! Little fucking asshole.

So Alone..

I feel so alone right now… I am not sure why. I have met some really fun new friends here in Redondo Beach. I’ve been keeping really busy with things, I went out all night Friday night, was busy all day Saturday except for a few hours where I took a nap and then will be busy pretty much all day Sunday.

But I still feel just so alone.

I keep killing myself, yelling at myself for not going back to Iowa sooner when things were getting worse with my grandpa. I feel like such an asshole to wait and get work done and not spend the extra money.

If only I had gone a day earlier. I could have had a day with grandpa. If only I had spent the extra $300, I could have had an hour with him… If only. I hate myself for not going. For not getting the chance to say goodbye. For not getting the chance to tell him how much I am going to miss him.

I hate that he’s gone and that he won’t be at my wedding, to meet my boyfriends. He won’t be there to tell how they shoved a camera up his dick. lol. It hurts me every time I call my grandma and he doesn’t answer the phone.

I just feel so alone…

The Dinner Game

I love dinner parties. I really miss the ones we used to have with the group, perhaps we should start it back up in the way the french movie, The Dinner Game did. Each week a well known/wealthy person invites someone to a dinner party. There’s only one catch. It’s a game to find the most idiotic person around.

Whoever brings the dumbest person to dinner wins the night. Pierre invites François Pignon, a man that works in the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and makes “maquettes” to forget his beloved wife, who had went away with a friend of him two years ago, for the dinner. However, they never make it to the dinner. Pierre, has back pains, his wife leaves him, his lover is crazy. Everything truly falls apart.

Even though this movie is in French with English subtitles, it’s a laugh riot. Once things start going, you can’t stop laughing! It’s done so well that you can pay half attention to the dialog and just watch the faces/expressions of the characters. It’s all put together so well.

The movie is based off a play, I hope the play will come to LA sometime soon! I’d love to see it!

Go rent this movie tonight and laugh the night away!

Happy Ending – Mika

This song just came up on my random playlist and I thought I’d post it… It makes me cry so much. I give people everything I have. I give my heart and my soul to them, and they always just leave me with no hope, no love, no glory. I do feel like each time, I just wasted all that part, I feel like every day is wasted that I spent with them. My grandpa was amazing at this, he gave everyone everything too, but he never seemed to be hurt if people didn’t give back. It seems to me like everyone always gave back to him. Grandpa, how did you do it?

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can’t get no love without sacrifice
If anything could happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I’ve ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I’m wasted
No happy ending
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o’clock in the morning, something’s on my mind
Can’t get no rest; keep walkin’ around
If I pretend that nothin’ ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I’ve ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I’m wasted
no happy ending
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love

I feel as if I’m wasted
And I waste everyday

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.