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My Life

“I Have Issues”

Apparently the new “excuse” is “I have trust issues” or “I have abandonment” issues. I’ve heard this excuse like 4-5 times in the past couple weeks. I just don’t get it. Why are you even on a dating app if you have “abandonment” issues.

So, HIV+ Filipino boy, we were texting and last Sunday I texted him about something and he replied with “Ok, have a nice day, I’ll talk to you later.” Which to me means he’s just brushing me off and not wanting to talk. So I just left that, then a few days ago he texts me. We talk a bit then decide to hang out. Last night he comes over and we hang out a bit. He says he has “trust” issues and blah blah blah. He’s not used to talking to someone every day. He said he Friend-zoned me. But yet he was sitting VERY close to me, etc. I feel like maybe this is part of the whole deal with social media these days, it connects you but disconnects you. You don’t actually TALK to people but you follow their lives, etc. At the end of last night he said something like “will I see you again”. I told him that he’s in the driver seat and he can decide what happens next but that yes. I would like to see him again. He’s very cute and very sweet. But again, am I really friend zoned or not? I don’t get it.

I’m not sure if I mentioned it or not but there’s this Chunky Army boy I hung out with once. He came over and we just cuddled and made out. He’s a nice guy, again lots of texting, etc. We made plans to start going to the gym together. Last Wed was supposed to be our first gym night. So I texted him the day before to confirm and he also used the whole “I have abandonment issues”. We haven’t spoken since.

Then there’s this guy in Fairfield that I was supposed to hang out with. Before we EVEN HUNG OUT he backed out saying he needs to “work on myself first”. WTF So annoying.

ZenDesk and I are still chatting nearly every day. He’s been in Australia the past week and now he’s in Singapore. So we don’t talk a lot cause the time differences but we still message. I wish he would message more. But I dunno. I really want to ask him why he friend-zoned me but I dunno how to bring it up.

Hung out with the 22year old black boy again. He’s super cute but again I just don’t know what we would have in common.

Not much else has been going on. I have been working on my bed frame, trying to go the gym as much as I can, etc.

Going to Costa Rica in November with the same gang I went to Japan with last November. I’m trying to talk ZenDesk into going with me.

I started following Wings again on instagram. He’s so cute.

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