Hit bottom

I think I hit bottom of my emotional slide yesterday.. I was driving to staples to pick up a USB cord and just randomly started crying.

Nothing is gonna happen with Army. Yesterday he texted me at 2pm (4pm) and said “Omg I just woke up”. But he had posted on snapchat a picture of him out eating somewhere an hour before. Clearly he didn’t just wake up. I said “Don’t lie to me”. He replied “How”. I replied “we need to have a serious chat. Call or FT me whenever”. Nothing.

I don’t get it. He’s very hot and cold. This has been going on for three christmases now. At first like I said, just strictly friends. Then after the breakup we started chatting more. Then lost touch, then reconnected, etc. This Christmas was very exciting but as soon as my flight left DSM, it was like he was ice cold…
Whatever.

I’ve signed up for OKCupid again, haven’t been seeing anything that catches my eye. I’ve messaged lots of guys, but hardly any replies. Same with Tinder, all these people “match” with me, but then either never reply to messages or send me one message and then never reply again. I don’t understand.

And then NA is going on a Thailand trip, he just got back from a trip to Denver. Never invited me to either one. “Friends”. I feel like I’m so boring any more. I never go anywhere and I have no one to go with me anyway.

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